I went to Paper Tales yesterday. It’s a local scrapbook shop. They have some really great stuff there. I had an AmEx gift card that I hadn’t used yet, so I decided to use some of it there. I found some adorable decorative tape on the clearance table (that would be the tapes on the right side of the pic, minus the very bottom one, which I already had).

One thing I love about their shop is they are in our new neighborhood, so I can go any time and just drop in for a few minutes – without having to plan a trip or waste gas. They are very welcoming and friendly. And they have classes just about every week.

In fact, I am thinking about taking one of these classes next week. Specifically, the one about Grace Notes. I got to look at the sample yesterday (but forgot to snap a pic) and it is adorable. There are pics on their site, if you want to see how cute it is. I had thought about that one or the calendar book, but decided I liked the Grace Notes book better. I could use a gratitude journal for sure.

In the past I have bought pre-made journals. And I still have a ton of them, as they’re great for note taking (especially work stuff) and “just” writing to get stuff out of my head (like in The Artist’s Way). But when I want to doodle or do some art to go along with my writing, I am finding that I love making my own books. Even if some of the pages are pre-made (like some scrapbooking papers), there’s something about putting together your own book:

It’s addicting. Especially if you get involved in any of Mary Ann Moss’ online courses. You’ll never look back.

Pretty soon I’ll have a whole stack of my own books to add to the massive stash of pre-bought books I already have. Or maybe I’ll just have to sell some of those. They make great gifts, right?!

So here’s what I’ve been doing with a lot of my time recently. I haven’t used my sewing machine in YEARS, but I finally dug it out, got it serviced, and am USING it. Of course, not for what you’d think. But still. Creating. Learning. Enjoying.

I’ve never made a scrappy journal like this before and I absolutely love it. I don’t think it’ll replace the art journals, but I can see how great this type of journal will be for vacations – collecting little tidbits and memories.

I so enjoyed making it. I hope you enjoy taking a peek. BTW, the video is kinda long. I couldn’t figure out how to make it shorter without skipping pages. And we couldn’t do that now, could we?

My Scrappy Journal from Becky S. on Vimeo.

I compose things in my head during the day. Little bits and pieces that I need to write about. You see, I’m the type who HAS to write. Whether it be in a paper journal, or here, or whatever. I HAVE to write to keep my sanity. Some people would say it’s too late, that [sanity] ship has sailed. I would tell those people to SHUT UP, who asked you anyway?

So I keep telling myself to write. But I get up, feed the kid, work until afternoon, hubby gets home, we get busy with the kid, and later supper prep. Then there’s the meal and by that time I’m too tired to do dishes, much less put personal thoughts together. They’re not coherent IN my head, so how would they be coherent OUT of my head? So I do my other paid writing and it’s so late at night by that point I have to go to bed or I won’t get up early enough to start work all over again.

As it is, I’m usually in bed around 1 am. This cycle is just not working. Why? Because I’m tired ALL THE TIME. And I cry a lot, and not just at those stinking Extreme Makeover: Home Edition episodes that they edit JUST TO MAKE ME CRY, but at everything. And I feel like THE CRAZY is hiding under my bed and waiting for my foot or arm to hang off the side just a little bit so it can GRAB ME and pull me into its HELLISH DEPTHS. That could might be the reason I keep a flashlight and baseball bat next to my side of the bed. I aim to be PREPARED for THE CRAZY. Ahem. Anyway.

When I do manage to sit down, I open up a window to start writing and… crickets. Lots of chirping. And it’s not the cute little chirping. It’s the “I want to gouge my eardrums out” chirping. In my head. Because we don’t have any crickets in our house. And if we did I’d drive myself crazy finding the little sucker and disposing of it. (I don’t mind the sound of crickets as long as they are OUTSIDE OF MY HOUSE.)

Not too long ago, I was chatting with a friend and I was telling her how rough it’s been. What makes it worse is worrying. I am an all-time champeen worrier. I might even have a plaque or trophy somewhere to prove it and NO YOU CANNOT SEE IT. My cross to bear. The problem with worrying is it’s so draining. And crazy-making. I’ll tell you all about OCD my worrying is. Sometime. Not now.

But as I was telling her exactly how utterly ridiculous this worrying is, that which I cannot seem to STOP IT, I realized exactly how insane I sounded. HI, I’M CRAZY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE MY FRIEND? She just might have mentioned that maybe a little more drinking is in order. I let her know that I have TRIED to drink enough to DROWN THE CRAZY, but that little bugger can swim BETTER THAN I CAN.

I’m also trying a couple of projects for fun, like art journaling and binding my own small project books. I am actually looking forward to carving out some time for them. Using paint, and paintbrushes. SHARP POINTY TOOLS. (Like awls and paper punches, y’all. Yeesh.) Colored pencils. Bits of old books, and beautifully-patterned paper. Oh, the BEAUTIFUL PAPER. It calls to me, especially from the clearance aisle at Michael’s. Which, by the way I think I am going to have to BAN MYSELF from Michael’s. And the local paper supply shops. But at least it’s something I am getting immense joy from. Or maybe that’s just fumes from the glue stick.

I guess I really need to make an effort to find creative outlets. Because I may not be able to drown THE CRAZY in drink, but I sure can try to glue her down to a piece of paper and SMOTHER HER IN ACRYLIC PAINT. Or, you know, just enjoy being creative in a no-pressure environment. Whichever.

ps) Major credits if you can figure out where the title comes from. And I just realized that Laura does her titles this way all the time and I SWEAR I’m not stealing it from her. I just haven’t named my posts from songs in a long time and wanted to for old time’s sake.