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A funny thing happened…

tonight, but I’m running out of time and can’t tell the whole story yet. I know. I suck, huh? But I have to tell the whole thing. Let’s just say we have one funny kid.

Only one doctor appointment to go. Today’s was good. Fluid levels good. Baby heart rate good. We’re just waiting. Only 12 more days. Yikes! Guess we’d better get on that laundry so our guests don’t die when the pile topples onto them. It could happen. I’m embarrassed to have anyone over at this point. Truly.

By the way, don’t ever try to go to a coffee shop to get some work done on Veteran’s Day. Everyone else who normally works is there, too, just taking up space. Go home, people!

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Second verse, same as the first

I feel like I’m on repeat right now, saying the same old thing over and over.

Busy!

Tired!

Ready to get! this! kid! out!

And yet, that is my life right now. Getting a lot of Braxton Hicks today. They are ramping up. And that’s okay. Know why? I found some of the baby clothes. That’s right. We no longer have to bring him home from the hospital naked. Er, diaper only. Yes, I did a little happy dance in the garage when I found them. I don’t think that was all of them, but enough to get by for now. Even though I didn’t see the “My First Thanksgiving” onesie in there anywhere and I so wanted to have that out and ready to go. I mean, c’mon. How often do you get to use an item like that FOR BOTH SONS?

Of course, we still haven’t dug out the infant seat, so we don’t have anything to PUT HIM IN on the way home. Details. (Actually, that’s something hubby could do last minute if needed. But I’m hoping we can get to that tomorrow so it’s off the list.)

Drove the van a little more tonight. I so *love* the backup camera. Even though it feels weird to face forward instead of look over my shoulder as I’m backing out of a parking spot. It was quite helpful at Costco when some guy walked past INCHES from my bumper as I was moving my foot over to the gas pedal. So, the camera has already saved one pedestrian’s life. A stupid, clueless pedestrian that apparently doesn’t understand what backup lights mean, but still. LIFE SAVED thanks to the Odyssey.

Anyway. More appointments tomorrow and Thursday. More work deadlines. Still no full post on Tiffany & Co, but it IS COMING. Hopefully before the baby’s born. I can make NO PROMISES at this point.

What she’s doing now

I compose things in my head during the day. Little bits and pieces that I need to write about. You see, I’m the type who HAS to write. Whether it be in a paper journal, or here, or whatever. I HAVE to write to keep my sanity. Some people would say it’s too late, that [sanity] ship has sailed. I would tell those people to SHUT UP, who asked you anyway?

So I keep telling myself to write. But I get up, feed the kid, work until afternoon, hubby gets home, we get busy with the kid, and later supper prep. Then there’s the meal and by that time I’m too tired to do dishes, much less put personal thoughts together. They’re not coherent IN my head, so how would they be coherent OUT of my head? So I do my other paid writing and it’s so late at night by that point I have to go to bed or I won’t get up early enough to start work all over again.

As it is, I’m usually in bed around 1 am. This cycle is just not working. Why? Because I’m tired ALL THE TIME. And I cry a lot, and not just at those stinking Extreme Makeover: Home Edition episodes that they edit JUST TO MAKE ME CRY, but at everything. And I feel like THE CRAZY is hiding under my bed and waiting for my foot or arm to hang off the side just a little bit so it can GRAB ME and pull me into its HELLISH DEPTHS. That could might be the reason I keep a flashlight and baseball bat next to my side of the bed. I aim to be PREPARED for THE CRAZY. Ahem. Anyway.

When I do manage to sit down, I open up a window to start writing and… crickets. Lots of chirping. And it’s not the cute little chirping. It’s the “I want to gouge my eardrums out” chirping. In my head. Because we don’t have any crickets in our house. And if we did I’d drive myself crazy finding the little sucker and disposing of it. (I don’t mind the sound of crickets as long as they are OUTSIDE OF MY HOUSE.)

Starburst

Not too long ago, I was chatting with a friend and I was telling her how rough it’s been. What makes it worse is worrying. I am an all-time champeen worrier. I might even have a plaque or trophy somewhere to prove it and NO YOU CANNOT SEE IT. My cross to bear. The problem with worrying is it’s so draining. And crazy-making. I’ll tell you all about OCD my worrying is. Sometime. Not now.

But as I was telling her exactly how utterly ridiculous this worrying is, that which I cannot seem to STOP IT, I realized exactly how insane I sounded. HI, I’M CRAZY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE MY FRIEND? She just might have mentioned that maybe a little more drinking is in order. I let her know that I have TRIED to drink enough to DROWN THE CRAZY, but that little bugger can swim BETTER THAN I CAN.

I’m also trying a couple of projects for fun, like art journaling and binding my own small project books. I am actually looking forward to carving out some time for them. Using paint, and paintbrushes. SHARP POINTY TOOLS. (Like awls and paper punches, y’all. Yeesh.) Colored pencils. Bits of old books, and beautifully-patterned paper. Oh, the BEAUTIFUL PAPER. It calls to me, especially from the clearance aisle at Michael’s. Which, by the way I think I am going to have to BAN MYSELF from Michael’s. And the local paper supply shops. But at least it’s something I am getting immense joy from. Or maybe that’s just fumes from the glue stick.

I guess I really need to make an effort to find creative outlets. Because I may not be able to drown THE CRAZY in drink, but I sure can try to glue her down to a piece of paper and SMOTHER HER IN ACRYLIC PAINT. Or, you know, just enjoy being creative in a no-pressure environment. Whichever.

ps) Major credits if you can figure out where the title comes from. And I just realized that Laura does her titles this way all the time and I SWEAR I’m not stealing it from her. I just haven’t named my posts from songs in a long time and wanted to for old time’s sake.