Tag-Archive for » baby 3.0 «

Resolutions

Funny enough, I got a call from the hospital today asking how things went while we were there. So I told the lady how great the nurses in the NICU were. How kind and caring. How they did their best to make sure I could see my boy as often as possible. They always had a rocking chair ready to go so I could hold and nurse my boy.

It was getting my son released from the NICU that was the problem. It took about eight hours longer than it should have. Hours in my new son’s life that I’ll not get back. His first 48+ hours in which I should have been with him constantly. And I wasn’t. He needed medical care and I’m so grateful that he got it. But those extra hours of waiting were unnecessary. And yes, I’m still a little bit angry about it.

There’s more to it, and I will get around to telling the story. But right now I need to find a way to move on. It’s over. Done. I can’t change it. I need to focus on spending time with both of my sons, not getting angry about something I can’t change.

But at least I was able to tell my story to someone at the hospital. And hopefully it’ll change for the next mom whose baby graduates from the NICU during a very busy time.

Out and about

We managed to get out of the house with both of the boys. We didn’t go far – just to the mall. But it was someplace where we could walk around and let the oldest expend some energy.

The ladies at Williams-Sonoma ooohed and aaahed over the baby. And when they found out he is 5 days old, they didn’t know whether I was brave or crazy.

Funny, neither do I.

I just *have* to get out of the house. Even if I’m tired, there’s only so much you can do inside these walls. And I’m certainly not bedridden. Being forced to get out of bed the day after surgery will do that to you. I had no choice – I had to go and see my son. There was nothing – not an IV, a catheter, a sore abdomen… nothing – that was going to keep me away from him. As it was, it took at least 8 hours longer than it should have to get him back with us. And it probably would have been longer if I’d not suffered a meltdown right in the middle of the NICU.

Let’s just say it was an emotional time, I was exhausted, and I didn’t handle the multiple delays very well. It sucks when the kids who are ready to leave the NICU are kept there simply because the doctor hasn’t made it through rounds yet and the ones that are out of danger are the last ones to be seen. Let me say it again. It SUCKS. I’m still not happy with how that was handled. But the nurses and staff were so kind. And amazingly patient. And awesome.

It could have been so much worse. We were pretty fortunate. We ARE pretty fortunate. I can’t stress that enough.

It’s going to be an adjustment to having two instead of one. But so far? It’s awesome. Both of my sons are amazing. What more can I ask for?

Thank you. Sincerely.

It’s going to take me days to go around thanking everyone. And I will. But in the meantime, while things are still a little crazy, I just wanted to say thank you. So many friends have sent emails, facebook and twitter messages, called us to check in… it has been tremendous. Thank you so much for all of the love and support. We truly needed it.

We’re home, together as a family, and adjusting to having four of us here in the house. Baby Bravia is doing great. He’s just a teensy bit jaundiced, so we’re working to improve that. And he’s still learning to nurse, so we’re working on that, too. But he’s a joy, his older brother can’t get enough of him, and we’re enamored of our two little boys.

So while we’re tired. Exhausted. Zombies. … we have so much to be grateful for. It has all been put into crystal-clear perspective for us. So again, thank you for all of the kind, warm messages. You have made this last week even more special. I truly mean that.

Baby Bravia thanks you as well.

IMG_20101127_221153.jpg

Restless

me & the boyToday I’m just plain restless. There are things I could be doing, but I don’t have the mental capacity to concentrate for long periods. I’m trying, but just not succeeding. I’ve caught up on my Google reader feeds. I’ve read everything I care to on Twitter and Facebook. I’ve cleaned most of the kitchen and about as much of the living room as I can stand. It’s still cluttered and crowded. It definitely needs more “it’s time to get rid of this junk I’m not using” and less moving things around just to make it look a little better.

But I’m sick of it. All of it.

I even have some things to read on my Kindle. And I’ve been perusing our baby registry. But none of it is keeping my attention for long.

I’m impatient. Just biding my time. Do you know how boring that is? I’m going stir crazy. It doesn’t matter if I get out and go to the store. Or go through the mail and pay bills. None of it. It’s all busy work.

I knew this would be a long weekend but GEEZ. Enough already. Either go into labor or something. Please.

As much as I’ve wanted to see Harry Potter, I don’t know if I could sit through it, even. First, I have to pee every 10 minutes so I’d probably miss a lot of good parts of the movie. And since I didn’t already go and see it, I doubt I will tomorrow considering it’s my son’s third birthday tomorrow.

By the way, this time three years ago? I got induced mid-morning. I was still in labor at this point and wouldn’t have the kid until almost six o’clock tomorrow night. That’s right. It was a very long labor. In spite of that, I’d still rather go into labor about right now. EVEN IF it means both boys have exactly the same birthday. I’m that desperate.

Hold me?

Category: babbling, spawn  Tags: ,  4 Comments

Lookin’ good

Had a recent ultrasound. Fluid levels good. Baby not too big. A little bigger than average, but not as big as my other son.

He looks healthy. He could come any time now. Doc says I can do a lot of walking to get him to move down.

Alrighty then! Walking it is. Doc’s orders! Of course, walking is also helping keep my blood sugars down, so I’ve already restarted that after-meal routine. Trying so hard to avoid yet another med increase with only three weeks left.

Huh. I guess I should dig some baby clothes out, wash them, and pack a bag for the hospital. Just in case. I would be SO HAPPY if he comes early. Like, ecstatic. Anytime after next Monday. Really.

Come on baby, let’s go!

Category: family, parenting  Tags: , ,  Comments off

Baby needs

I’m starting to get questions about what we need for the wee little one.

Well, I’m not entirely sure.

I think we have plenty of clothes if we can ever find them in the chaos that is our garage. Assuming that they haven’t mildewed or been eaten by moths.

I did add a few items to our Amazon Baby Registry, like some swaddling wraps I’d love to have. And diapers. But a couple of the items are big, so I don’t really count them, as who’s going to be able to buy a friend a BOB Duallie? That’s okay. It’s there for us, or in case family wants to pool their money and get it. Or just so I can find it again later if we decide to get it.

Okay, back to my point. Friends have been asking what we need. I’m not sure. Target and Amazon gift cards would be perfectly okay with us. Not as fun as shopping for cute baby things, I know. But I’m always trying to be practical.

So there you have it. What we need. It ain’t much, but I think we’re fortunate in that regard.

Still here, still pregnant

We’ve hit the 28 week marker. Time has moved so slowly I thought that I’d never get here. And now it’s third trimester time. Did I hit the uncomfortable stage of things this soon last time? I don’t remember. I’m already having trouble breathing and eating – where’d all the space go? At my last appointment, I was measuring a week ahead already. That prompted my doctor to go ahead and schedule a c-section.

Unfortunately, Thanksgiving gets in the way. And that means dates are limited, especially since I don’t want to go in on my other son’s birthday. I refuse to have two birthdays on the same day if I can avoid it.

So the doctor scheduled it the day after. Sigh. I don’t care about being in the hospital on Thanksgiving. I really don’t. But I am frustrated that I’m limited to two days just before then AND the doc chooses the 23rd. Why couldn’t he schedule it on the 24th and at least give us a day in between?

And don’t get me started on feeling like my choices have been taken away. My original due date was 11/29. But based on conception date, I know that’s early by at least 3 days. I didn’t get a chance to give him those details (and would he listen anyway?). Because of my gestational diabetes, he doesn’t want me to go to my due date. In fact, he apparently doesn’t want me to get too close to that since it’s possible my son will be big.

Let’s face it. i have a big family. I don’t think it has a lot to do with diabetes. We’re just big people. My other son was 9 lbs. 10 oz. My uncle was either 10 or 11 lbs. when he was born. Another uncle, other side of the family, was somewhere in the 6′ 6″ range as an adult. My hubby is 6′ 2″ See? Big people.

If I’m “lucky” I’ll go into labor on my own. But since the c-section is a week early and my last son was late, that’s not looking likely.

I was really angry and upset when I first got the news. Now I just feel resigned to it. The ultimate goal is a healthy baby and mommy, no matter how we get there. I just really hate feeling that my choices are limited. I was really hoping this pregnancy would be different. Instead we’re hearing the same tune just three years later.

And that’s part of why I’ve been avoiding much personal blogging. It all turns into angry rants or whining. And who really cares? It could be much worse. At least I’m not in the hospital on bed rest, unable to work or take care of my son.

One thing I’m dreading is caring for my older son while trying to recover from a c-section. Did I mention that he weighs 44 lbs.? Yeah, there will be no lifting him out of the crib in the mornings. Which is one reason why my husband is pushing to get him a toddler bed – one that he can crawl in & out of. (That still won’t help with diaper changes, though, which we do on our waist-high bed.)

I’m a mess. Have been the entire pregnancy. Worried about money. About how I’ll care for two kids at home by myself. How my older son will react to mommy’s attention going to the wee babe. How I’ll miss this wonderful time with my older son. We are such good buddies. Man, I love that little guy. But I don’t want to write a bunch of anxiety down, lest my younger son someday think he wasn’t wanted. He really is. So much so. But I haven’t done anything to prepare for his arrival — which is now ELEVEN weeks away thanks to the surgery — nor have I taken more than 2 weekly belly pics. Last time? Took a ton. This time? Not many. I wonder how I’ll give both of them adequate attention when I don’t even feel like I give ONE child enough attention (thanks to having to work so many dang hours – another story in itself).

See? Even I don’t want to listen to me anymore. Hence posts about anything or everything except my pregnancy. Or nothing at all.

I suppose I could write about how much I loathe both of my downstairs neighbors right now, BOTH of whom are doing remodeling. I hate it with a burning passion of a thousand fiery suns. Wouldn’t you think it would be, I don’t know, courteous to let your neighbors know that you’ll be starting some noisy remodeling? Especially those that you KNOW have small children? Yeah, none of that. I hate this place. Hence my looking for a 2 BR closer to hubby’s work. But those are way out of our price range. Actually, EVERYTHING is out of our price range. And I feel trapped. Another source of anxiety.

I really hope all of my stress doesn’t affect the wee babe, too much. But it probably has considering that it affects my eating and blood sugar numbers. See? Mommy fail AGAIN. I just want this to be over with so we can go visit my family and decompress for a month or so. Really hoping that helps. I need a break. I need to stop worrying about money, living quarters, my car that’s going to need a lot of work soon, working too hard for too little… I need something. I just wish I knew what it was.

Oops, I did it again.

I’ve had several people ask me if I’m okay after that last post. I am, really. I was just having a super-craptastic day and needed to write something. Maudlin, much?

Of course, there could be a tiny reason why I’m a bit easily pushed down into the depths, thinking the world just might end.

And it may have just a wee, teeny bit to do with hormones.

Lots

and

lots

of

hormones.

Oops, we did it again.

It has been really tough not talking about this. I have been so very sick, averse to a lot of foods and just plain miserable. And happy. But oh how I wanted to share my woes over feeling so sick that I have been taking a nap almost every day at the same time as my son.

Or how utterly exhausted I have been. All. The. Time.

Or how my husband is thinking about banning me from drinking merlot ever again. (But that’s a different story.)

Last week, about Thursday or Friday my belly POPPED. It’s a little hard to hide the news now. And Friday night, I went to Mamafest here in San Diego and ran into a bunch of ladies I knew. During the course of conversations, the news slipped. Oops.

That’s really okay, though. I’d already had my first appointment, seen that tiny little being, and heard a heartbeat. It’s real.

Oh boy. I’m going to be a mom to two littles, exactly 3 years apart. And I do mean exactly as this wee one is due a week after his/her brother’s birthday.

We’re calling this baby 3.0, because the boy was jokingly referred to as 2.0 on our shower cake last time AND this kid will be the third. So there you go.

The holidays are going to be busy this year, y’all. I can’t wait.