21
May 2010

Snippets

By becky

I took off this afternoon for a little out-of-the-house and alone time. It was sorely needed. I haven’t been out of the house much this week and the one time I was? Doctor’s appointment. And I had to get right back because the boy was with Daddy.

But this afternoon, just before the boy woke up from his nap, I took off. Ran a few errands. Perused Michael’s and the bookstore. And then I picked up dinner and went back home to be with my guys.

A little saner, a little refreshed.

After I walked in the door, the boy was nowhere to be found. Turns out he was playing in the bedroom and didn’t know I was home. After I put down all of my stuff, I called to him.

He came careening out of the bedroom with a huge smile on his face. He ran up to me and I expected him to fling himself around my legs. But he grabbed my hand to lead me back to where he was so he could show me what he’d been doing. And then he wanted to play on our bed (which he loves).

His laughter and smile were the perfect welcome home.

Category: parenting, spawn  Tags: , , , , , , ,  4 Comments
11
May 2010

Oops, I did it again.

By becky

I’ve had several people ask me if I’m okay after that last post. I am, really. I was just having a super-craptastic day and needed to write something. Maudlin, much?

Of course, there could be a tiny reason why I’m a bit easily pushed down into the depths, thinking the world just might end.

And it may have just a wee, teeny bit to do with hormones.

Lots

and

lots

of

hormones.

Oops, we did it again.

It has been really tough not talking about this. I have been so very sick, averse to a lot of foods and just plain miserable. And happy. But oh how I wanted to share my woes over feeling so sick that I have been taking a nap almost every day at the same time as my son.

Or how utterly exhausted I have been. All. The. Time.

Or how my husband is thinking about banning me from drinking merlot ever again. (But that’s a different story.)

Last week, about Thursday or Friday my belly POPPED. It’s a little hard to hide the news now. And Friday night, I went to Mamafest here in San Diego and ran into a bunch of ladies I knew. During the course of conversations, the news slipped. Oops.

That’s really okay, though. I’d already had my first appointment, seen that tiny little being, and heard a heartbeat. It’s real.

Oh boy. I’m going to be a mom to two littles, exactly 3 years apart. And I do mean exactly as this wee one is due a week after his/her brother’s birthday.

We’re calling this baby 3.0, because the boy was jokingly referred to as 2.0 on our shower cake last time AND this kid will be the third. So there you go.

The holidays are going to be busy this year, y’all. I can’t wait.

Category: family, me, me, me, parenting, spawn  Tags: , , , , , , ,  16 Comments
07
May 2010

The façade

By becky

The façade collapsed
as the carefully constructed walls crumbled.
The foundation buckled
as the supports evaporated.

Alone.
Unsure.
Nowhere to go.
Broken.
So very alone.

Category: other writing  Tags: , ,  2 Comments
05
May 2010

I changed my mind. This is what I want for Mother’s Day.

By becky

Okay, so it wasn’t too many days ago I said I want a gift card for Mother’s Day. But after browsing through my reader I actually saw something else I really, really want.

I haven’t been into creating my own art for too long. Well, not on paper with paint, brushes, glue and messes. Photography, yes. Other art? No. And even though I don’t have a lot of time to work on my art journals these days, it still calls to me. So much so that I’m going to have to make time to get my hands dirty really soon. It speaks to a deep part of me that I didn’t realize needed its own form of expression.

Several months ago, I bought a book called Taking Flight: Inspiration & Techniques to give your Creative spirit wings by Kelly Rae Roberts. Before picking up this book, I was not at all familiar with her art. But it wasn’t her art that drew me in. It was the content of her book. At that time, at that moment when I started reading her book, I needed inspiration and encouragement. I needed to hear how we all find our place (in art) with experimentation. There’s no room for perfection, but there’s plenty of room for play.

I tend to get frustrated with myself because I see the amazing things other incredible art journalers are doing and I really wish I could do that, too. I want to be inspired by them and learn new ways to do things, not to be intimidated into thinking that I’ll never make anything interesting.

And then I remembered that I’m not making any of this for anyone else but me. Would I love to do this and someday have people want to see it and enjoy it? Yes. But not yet.

There is that someday, though. How would I do it if I wanted to get my art out there and maybe even make money with it at some point? How in the world do you get started?

Kelly Rae is giving a class just like that. It’s called Flying Lessons: Tips + Tricks to Help Your Creative Business Soar . And I admit it. I want to take it. Who knows if she’ll even offer it again. There’s something about her tone in her writing that I really enjoy. I think I’d learn a lot from her.

Alas, the $99 price tag is nowhere in our budget right now. So while I’d love for this to be my Mother’s Day gift, it isn’t going to happen. But maybe one of you out there will get a chance to take it and I can live vicariously though you.

Category: babbling, me, me, me  Tags: , ,  Leave a Comment
26
Apr 2010

Mother’s Day Approacheth

By becky

Hard to believe that Mother’s Day will be here shortly. Where does the time go?

I doubt we’ll have much time or money to do any celebrating, but I wonder if I can convince hubby to get me a Amazon.com Gift Card? I’m a sucker for books. Of course, the sad part is that I would probably just buy diapers with said gift cards. I still haven’t made up my mind whether I want a Kindle or a Nook. And then there’s the iPad, too. So many choices. None of which are relevant again, because of $$.

I knew it would be tight with me working from home. We both knew it & consciously made that choice.

So this Mother’s Day, I really just need to sit down and think about the good things I do have, celebrate my family, and remember how fortunate I am to have been given the gift of motherhood. And that I am supremely lucky to have been blessed with an incredible mom, who I miss terribly.

Category: babbling  2 Comments
18
Apr 2010

Today

By becky

I was supposed to go to Day at the Docks today. But I woke up with a headache and by the time it went away, it was too late to go. Unless I wanted to park miles away and take a shuttle in. No thanks.

So once hubby got home, we decided to grab some lunch and just go on a wander. We used to do our “wanders” every weekend. Just go where the wind took us, enjoying the chance to explore our city. We never really went terribly far from our neighborhood, but we still had a good time.

We wound up at the mall, and our son had a blast walking to his heart’s content. He is so cute when he’s walking as fast as he can, wind in his face, dimples shining. I managed to get a tiny bit of shopping done, too. Found a couple of tops that will be nice for the summer.

All in all? A nice spring day. We need more of those together.

Category: family  Tags: , , , ,  2 Comments
04
Apr 2010

Holy earthquake, Batman!

By becky

earthquake map 4.4.10If there’s one thing I will never get used to living here in Southern California, it’s earthquakes. Big or small, they freak me out. Today was no exception.

Or maybe it was, because this was no small thing. And it definitely freaked me out more than previous shakers. A lot more.

The unpredictability of earthquakes is what gets me. The ground starts shaking. Then it shakes a little more. And more. Is it going to keep shaking? Is it going to get a lot worse? Is my apartment going to fall down around me? How do I protect my son?

All of us were in bed, trying to take a nap. I was just starting to doze off when I felt the bed moving. It felt like someone was standing next to it & bumping it, trying to wake me up. But it kept shaking. Then it got a little harder. “Earthquake!” I said, and my husband woke up, too. It kept shaking, getting a bit harder. “Should we get in the doorway?” “Yeah, I think so.”

I grabbed my son & headed into the little hallway just outside our bedroom. Hubby went out into the living room. Things were STILL shaking. At that point, I was dizzy & couldn’t tell if it was me or if the building was still moving.

It finally stopped.

We decided to get dressed & get out of the house in case something bigger came along. We opened the front door & could hear neighbors downstairs, talking about the shaking. Our next door neighbor opened his door about the same time we did, checking in on us as we asked him how they were.

Just some shaking, a few things fell off of shelves and high places. Not so bad. No major damage that we can tell. Possibly some cracks, but this place is already so cracked who can tell?

First thing after the shaking, when I was sure we were all okay and things had stopped moving? I hit Twitter. Of course. So did a ton of other people in San Diego & So Cal. News gets around so fast.

Later, in the car, I posted a Facebook update as well, so friends would know that we felt it but things were ok. I didn’t stop being jumpy, though, for at least another hour or two.

Maybe it was waking up from a nap. You’re disoriented and it takes a moment to realize what’s happening. Or maybe it was because this really was the strongest and longest quake I can remember since I’ve lived in Cali (that’s going on 16 years, BTW).

I’m just glad it wasn’t worse. It could have been so much worse.

(thinking of those in Mexicali who did actually have it worse. and Haiti, where it was unspeakable.)

Photo: USGS

Category: babbling, me, me, me  Tags: , , , ,  4 Comments
25
Mar 2010

Learning to eat healthier

By becky

loads of kaleLast week I got to listen to an awesome chef talking about how we can serve healthy, tasty food to our families without spending a lot of extra time in the kitchen. What? Sign me up! I know I need to buy fresh food — it’s the prep and cooking time that kills me. See what we learned that night.  

Category: other writing  Tags: , ,  Leave a Comment
17
Mar 2010

A St. Patrick’s Day Blessing

By becky

One of my favorite all-time Irish blessings goes like this:

May those who love us,
love us;
and those who don’t love us,
may God turn their hearts;
and if He doesn’t turn their hearts,
may he turn their ankles
so we’ll know them by their limping.

I hope you have a blessed St. Patrick’s Day.

I, for one, am so grateful to my ancestors who came to the US during the potato famine to forge a new life. Their hardships and trials made way for great opportunities for me and my children. I only hope I can be as brave and strong in order to pave the way for even better lives for my future lineage.

Category: Gratitude in my Attitude, me, me, me  Tags: , ,  4 Comments
06
Mar 2010

This is why I love the internets

By becky

Gratitude

“It’s really not all that bad.” That’s what I — and my husband — keep telling myself. I love the time I spend with my son, even as I feel guilty that it’s not enough… or especially not enough quality over quantity.

But then I lie in bed in the morning, after my son is up and we’re both snuggled up watching a cartoon or two, and I realize how good I have it. There’s no rushing around in the morning to get him to daycare and me to work. I doze a little while he plays with his cars and sips his milk. I smile as he runs his cars all over my head and shoulders, making these new little “vroom vroom” noises.

And I realize all of this, even as we’re terribly short on money, when I am able to get out of my own head. That’s not easy when you work from home and don’t really get out much. And yet, the internet helps me there, too. I chat with people on twitter when I take breaks. I read blogs and get to see how my internet friends are doing.

I’ve even made new local friends. That’s probably the biggest thing that the ‘net has brought me. As I think I’ve mentioned before, several of my closest friends have moved in the last few years. Since I don’t work outside the home any longer, it has been much harder to find new people to hang out with. But then I went to a couple of events that I found out about on Twitter. And I started meeting other moms.

From there, I found out about events through sdGNO (San Diego Girl’s Night Out) and sdIRL (San Diego In Real Life). And wouldn’t you know it? I have made a bunch of new friends and connected with some old ones, too. (Of course, that totally doesn’t include everyone, but you can see lists of people I’ve met via some twitter lists.)

Just getting to hang out with many cool people, get our kids together for playdates, and get out of the darn house has been making a big difference for me. It’s slowly getting better, the more I push myself to go do cool things.

As long as I can keep reminding myself not to think to hard about all that I’m not doing and not getting accomplished — and concentrate on the good — I think it’ll be okay.

Nah, I’m sure of it.

I’d also like to thank the kind person who nominated me for a “Best in Lifestyle” award from the San Diego Social Media Awards (#influenceSD). I absolutely wasn’t expecting it and no matter where I wind up, I’m honored to be in a group with so many of my friends. (PS – you can vote for me here, if you are so inclined.)

Category: Gratitude in my Attitude, babbling, me, me, me  Tags: , , , , , , , ,  4 Comments
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