I don’t exactly know how to write anything trivial about my life when my friends are still missing and there’s no news that I know of regarding their whereabouts. What do you say after that? There’s no transition that works. But I’m still plugging away. I might find some funny kid stories to share soon. I know I could use a laugh.

I have been on radio silence recently, due to working a lot and generally being too busy to think. But the last several days my heart has been elsewhere—and if you’re friends with me on Facebook you’ve already seen me post about this.

My friend is missing.

Her name is Becky, and I’ve known her a good portion of my life. No, it’s not an allegory about how I’m missing myself, who I once was, or anything like that. I’m serious.

Her name is Becky Porter (although people in the area knew her previously as Becky Ellsworth and her maiden name was Becky Hufft) and she hasn’t been seen since Sunday evening, 4/17/2011. Her husband, Russell (Rusty) is missing as well.

This has been on my mind since Tuesday, when I first got word of their disappearance. Their car, phones, Becky’s purse are all reportedly at the house. No one has seen them, nor do they know where they went.

And we’re all heartsick.

This happens on TV. In the movies. To other people in faraway places. Not back home where the towns are small and everyone knows everyone else.

And as more time passes, the more I worry that things won’t turn out as we hope. Many of her friends and family are church-goers and they are posting on her wall about their prayers and faith that everything will turn out all right. While I struggle to remain positive and have faith that there will be a good outcome. But in the back of my mind, the reality of the statistics in cases like this flow through my brain. My cynicism shows and I wonder what they’ll say if there’s not an outcome they were praying for. How will their faith handle it? Maybe better than mine. Maybe their faith is already handling it better than mine. Maybe I just watch too many cop/csi/law/crime shows.

In the mean time, it is eerily similar to another case almost 20 years ago where three women in Springfield (Mo.) disappeared without a trace (I wrote about that once but lost the post in one of my content moves). I hope it’s not the same. And I wonder what in the world could have caused anyone to want to harm (or even just scare) such a nice, smalltown girl.

And if it can happen to her, how easily can it happen to any one of us?

Please, please pray for their safe return. In spite of my skepticism. In spite of my fears. Please pray. It’s all we have right now.

Update: Rusty’s and Becky’s bodies were found in a very remote part of Taney County toward the end of July. I am so sad to hear this news, but at least their families can finally stop worrying. We hope the authorities find out who did this and why.

We’re all home. All safe. But so very tired. All of us are going to bed early and I hope to have an actual story to tell you soon. As soon as my pain meds kick back in & I’m not curled up in a ball in a corner somewhere.

We are so grateful to be home and together. Thanks for all of your thoughts & prayers everyone. We didn’t mean to keep everyone in the dark. It has just been an exhausting three days. Pics to come. There’s one on FB, but the rest haven’t even been downloaded yet.

Good night and pleasant dreams!

Really crazy day. Even more stressful than I thought possible. Schedule delay after schedule delay. BUT after a lot of crying and frustration – and maybe a meltdown or two – the boy is finally out of the nicu.

And we are so grateful. But this mama has had enough for today. Full stories will have to wait until we get home.

Posting from my phone. Tired. The boy, code name Bravia, arrived yesterday safe & sound. We’re all good and will have more to tell you soon.

Literally, as I use WP on my Droid.

About 3 am, in the midst of insomnia, I realized something about myself. I’m way more of a pessimist than I ever realized. The last 48 hours have opened up a new world of possibilities for us, and I’m busy worrying about how things could go wrong. Hence the insomnia.

But now that I see how it’s crippling me, it’s time to change that. I can’t control everything. Never could. I need to let go just a little more.

I’m working on it.

My friend Christina is currently giving away an acupuncture package from the Acupuncture Center of La Jolla, courtesy of BuyWithMe San Diego. So if you’re interested in trying to win, go over and leave her a comment.

If you’re interested in more fabulous deals and discounts, you should check out BuyWithMe – they have other cities besides San Diego!

I was not asked to write this post – I just wanted to help Christina promote her giveaway.

Well, yes, it is bound to happen, only I wasn’t wanting to let it happen so soon in the game. I went to a friend’s house tonight for a crafting party. It was fun! I showed up a 1/2 hour early. Uh, oops. Fortunately, said friend was cool & put me to work prepping appetizers, which I was more than happy to do.

Next time I’ll pay closer attention to the start time. I could have sworn it said 7. Really!

When I found out I was pregnant, I really and truly wanted a blue-eyed baby. Boy or girl, blue eyes please.

My dad has the most amazing blue eyes I’ve ever seen. Blue as the sky and so bright. They are striking. I so wanted my little boy to have those eyes. Instead, he got the same blue that I, my brother, and my mom have. They sometimes tend a little more towards gray, depending on what color we’re wearing. But my dad? His eyes never change – they are always the same vibrant pools of blue.

So while it’s nice that my boy has the exact eyes that I do, I wanted to pass on something else. The poor kid already has so many of my traits that it’s scary. He never even had a chance. I’m sure he’ll thank me (and never let me forget it) later.

really, I am. I am still filled with so much sadness for Shana and disinterest in things past work obligations and holding my little guy as tight as I can. I will get my groove back at some point. I promise. Soon.