I am a hypocrite

My first son was born at a baby-friendly hospital. That sounds strange, doesn’t it. Aren’t all hospitals baby-friendly? Not really, by definition. It means that they support breast feeding and don’t offer formula or any type of formula-related freebies. They have formula on hand for when it’s needed, but they don’t accept it as a marketing tool. It is only offered when absolutely necessary. You won’t find any formula advertising there at all.

My second son was born at a different hospital. While the hospital supports breastfeeding and doesn’t give out formula-branded diaper bags, I did see some lids – for my pumped breast milk, no less – that were branded. And the OB and pediatrician practices were decidedly formula-friendly. This upset me greatly when I was pregnant. Even though my first son could have died waiting for my milk to come in & had supplemental formula until it did.

I didn’t want to see formula sponsored pregnancy journals or freebie bags with formula in them. One bag I was given was supposed to have info in it for me about registering at the hospital and other info. What I didn’t realize until later was that it also had bottles of formula in there. At first I was a little pissed. Maybe even a tiny bit outraged.

And yet? We’ve used that formula. Um, oops?

My second son, at almost 4 months has already had more formula than my other son EVER had. It has always been a convenience thing. When we traveled during the holidays, we would give him some if we couldn’t stop for a feeding.

We have also used it for afternoons when I’m out of the house and won’t be back in time for a feeding. Sometimes I have pumped beforehand and other times I didn’t. The formula is there for when I didn’t/couldn’t.

I am still a huge proponent of breastfeeding. It is my preferred way. But I’d be lying if I said my son is exclusively breastfed. He isn’t. And I do, to be honest, carry around a little bit of guilt about that. Maybe I shouldn’t. Or should. Either way, it’s there. And it is what it is.

What’s your dirty little motherhood secret?

Category: children
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12 Responses
  1. Venomous Kate (1 comments.) says:

    My dirty secret is that I long ago stopped giving a hoot what other mothers thought of me, my kids, my house or my marriage. I used to worry about that kind of stuff, then I realized that most women will ALWAYS find a reason to look down other mothers because it makes them feel better about their own mothering. (Kinda like how I just looked down on “most women” with that sentence and, yeah, it DOES make me feel better!)
    Venomous Kate´s last blog post ..More Importantly- Eleven Years Ago Today Photo

  2. bethany actually (15 comments.) says:

    Hey, if you’re nursing your son even half the time, he’s still getting awesome benefits from it! Personally, I’ve had to supplement both my girls. I had to start supplementing Annalie around 4 months thanks to a poor latch that went unnoticed and caused a drop in my supply, and she drank a few ounces of formula every day till she was about 7-8 months, when we weaned her off the bottle since she was eating solids really enthusiastically, and we continued to nurse till she was 2y2m. Supplementing doesn’t have to mean a death knell for nursing!

    With Elliora I really, REALLY hoped to avoid supplementing, but pretty much right from the start she wasn’t gaining “enough” and because it was Christmas and I was horribly sick for the third time in two months and couldn’t face the extra time pumping to increase my supply would have meant, we just started giving her 2-4 oz. formula per day, and that little bit was enough to get her into the “normal” range of weight gain. But she still nurses beautifully and we’ll keep doing so till we’re both ready to stop.

    My dirty little motherhood secret is probably that I can imagine what life would be like without my kids. :-) You know how everyone always says, “Oh, I can’t imagine life without them”? I can totally imagine my life without my kids. I would be missing out on some amazing things, sure, but it’s not like my life would be a desolate wasteland if I were childless. I’d just be doing different things.
    bethany actually´s last blog post ..Laura Voices

    • becky says:

      It has made it tougher, as it’s so much easier for him to drink from a bottle. And he was in the NICU just long enough that I think it made a difference. We still struggle to get him to eat well. He’s growing and everything, but we are still feeding fairly frequently because he doesn’t eat a lot at each feeding. It’s frustrating to say the least.

      I like your perspective on life without kids. Thank you. :)

      • bethany actually (15 comments.) says:

        Yeah, they say that giving bottles can be a slippery slope because it’s easier to get milk from a bottle than from a breast, etc. It’s like asking a kid, “Would you rather eat this plate of lovely chicken and broccoli, or drink this nutritious yummy milkshake?” Well, DUH. :-) I hope you’re able to keep nursing as long as you want to, and remember that every little bit of breastmilk he gets is a plus, so even if you have to stop (or want to stop) you’ve gotten him off to an excellent start!
        bethany actually´s last blog post ..the secret to getting everything done is to have a very short to-do list

        • becky says:

          I’m hoping we can keep going at least as long as my other son did, which was around 10-11 months. We’ll see. I’m not ready to give up yet.

  3. Suzette (6 comments.) says:

    I’m a practical kind of mom. I did both things until breastfeeding got it in the way of my sanity. So, I guess my dirty little secret is that I only breastfed for the minimum time I was told would be beneficial for my kids — four months — and never looked back. It just wasn’t for me, but hey, I tried (and I can still remember the pain!).

  4. Mama Mary (6 comments.) says:

    Oh man, I’ve got many dirty little motherhood secrets! Too many to recount. But I too had to supplement with both my girls. Don’t feel bad about it. You did what you had to do and that’s all us moms can do! Can’t wait to meet your new little guy!

  5. Melanie @ Mel, A Dramatic Mommy (1 comments.) says:

    My son was born on a Tuesday and my milk didn’t come in until Thursday. We were all miserable! I finally caved and gave him one of those little bottles from the hospital. He wolfed it down in seconds. I felt so guilty and like a failure and he was only a few days old!
    Melanie @ Mel, A Dramatic Mommy´s last blog post ..Virtual Cooking Class Join Me at The MotherHood

    • becky says:

      Yep. The first 3 days of his life he had more formula than he did breast milk. And I’m fairly certain it’s causing the issues we have now (with feeding and latching). We’ll work through them, of course, but it’s still a struggle. And guilt-inducing. Why is almost everything in motherhood so likely to produce guilt, anyway?