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This morning, both boys slept in (hallelujah, I needed that). They both woke up in good moods and we’ve had a perfectly pleasant morning. I sat down with my scone and favorite Christmas coffee and watched them eat their breakfast. It was a nice respite from all the goings on around here. My older son also ran his trains all over me and gave me a running commentary about them. Not all of it was decipherable, but it was fun nonetheless.

Speaking of the older son, he is slowly starting to talk. He has quite a few words now and is mastering new sounds weekly. Is he caught up with his age group? No. But he’s on his way. I am so proud of how hard he tries. He really loves both of his speech therapists and actually wants to go. That is such a change from where we were previously (I need to write something about that). So thankful that we found something that is working. For a long time I really wasn’t sure we would.

The littlest one is growing like crazy. But he’s pretty small for his age. He’s just now reaching the upper limit of his infant car seat (at one year old), while his brother was out of it by around 7 or 8 months at the latest. But that’s okay. He’s doing well and he’s super-easy to haul around, which is good because he demands to be picked up ALL THE TIME. He’s got a temper, that one. Throws a fit when you set him down. But if you can get him interested in a toy, he’s fine. Ah, the art of distraction. Well, sometimes. Other times he will NOT be deterred. My husband swears that comes from my side of the family. As if.

I’ve been pretty silent around these parts. I know. We’ve had a lot going on and I just haven’t wanted to talk a lot about it. We moved within the same town to be closer to hubby’s work. We were handling the move ourselves and had a lot of trouble getting any help to move stuff. In the midst of that, hubby had some health issues that made it even more difficult for us to do it ourselves. He literally could not help carry things up and down the stairs (2 flights – ugh). So while we had a whole month to move, we barely made it out. We had planned to purge a bunch of stuff but didn’t get the opportunity.

And the next month after we moved (and MORE than doubled our rent, BTW) I lost my job. The Friday before Thanksgiving. The holidays have been a little tough around here. We always go to see my parents during Christmas. They only get to see the kids about once a year and with the baby just turning one I was seriously bummed that they wouldn’t get to see them. Just no money to do so. We’ll be lucky for my unemployment to cover COBRA (don’t get me started on that rant). Or rent. But certainly not both. I need something ASAP. And I have been pounding the virtual pavement nonstop. Job hunting during the holidays is super tough. Ugh, again.

But we’ve had an offer to help us make the trip and we’re considering doing it. I feel very strongly that the kids should see their grandparents. If we could afford it, it would be several times a year instead of just one. But they are so small and grow so fast that I absolutely want their grandparents to get to see them. So we’re going to see if we can make that happen. And hope it works out. As much as I love it here, I miss my family terribly. And wish we could live in two places at once. I have better job prospects out here, but it’s cheaper out there. The weather is fabulous out here, but my family is back there. It’s a no-win in so many ways.

In spite of all that, I am trying really hard to be optimistic, which is tough because it totally goes against my nature. I’m a worrier. I have tried to change that over the years and it’s really tough to do that when it pretty much denies who you are. But I am trying. The job market isn’t easy and it certainly makes it harder when you never hear back from anyone past the “we got your application” email. I know we’re all busy, but letting people know a position has been filled would be nice. Just saying.

So that’s what is going on. Fall has not been easy for us here. Let’s hope the new year shows a lot more promise.

Speaking of being unemployed, if you happen to do any shopping through Amazon for the holidays, I would greatly appreciate it if you go through my affiliate links. Thank you.

I have been going to BlogHer con since 2006, one year after it started. (I missed last year and let me tell you, I was seriously bummed about that.) I have made many friends, gotten business, and so much more from this conference. It holds a special place in my heart.

So the fact that it’s in my back yard this year? Meant there was no way I was going to miss it this time. With less than a week to go, the buzz is growing from the 3000 attendees. As is my excitement.

At this point, BlogHer is almost like a family reunion for me. I get to see a bunch of amazing women all in one place, hugging and squeeing all weekend long. It’s going to be one big love-fest for me.

And to top that off, a good number of San Diego women will descend on the conference. Women I know and love.

It’s going to be awesome.

So get ready for next week, as I’ll probably be blogging some of the sessions I go to, either during or afterward (not sure yet). Maybe that’ll help me get back in the groove.

Are you going? What are you most looking forward to? Have any questions for an old timer?

Yeah, you know the one.

“I’m not dead yet.”

Really I’m not. If you’re on FB or Twitter, you probably know that. So why is it so hard to sit down here and write? It’s actually because I feel like I have so much to say that I don’t even know where to begin.

My boys are growing like crazy. The littlest is already SEVEN MONTHS old. Both are total sweethearts. Although the oldest is pushing his luck. Hello, three! Don’t let the door hit you on the way out!

I want to leave love letters to my children. I want to talk about how hard it is to work full time from home while having the kids with you AND still freelancing. And trying to keep your sanity.

So maybe I’ve given up on that sanity bit.

Because see how scattered I am? This is my brain right now. I can rarely finish a thought without stopping and trying to remember what it was I meant to say.

Where was I?

I haven’t given up completely. Not yet, anyway. I’d like to get back to posting more than once a month. Best intentions and all that.