Archive for » May, 2010 «

Snippets

I took off this afternoon for a little out-of-the-house and alone time. It was sorely needed. I haven’t been out of the house much this week and the one time I was? Doctor’s appointment. And I had to get right back because the boy was with Daddy.

But this afternoon, just before the boy woke up from his nap, I took off. Ran a few errands. Perused Michael’s and the bookstore. And then I picked up dinner and went back home to be with my guys.

A little saner, a little refreshed.

After I walked in the door, the boy was nowhere to be found. Turns out he was playing in the bedroom and didn’t know I was home. After I put down all of my stuff, I called to him.

He came careening out of the bedroom with a huge smile on his face. He ran up to me and I expected him to fling himself around my legs. But he grabbed my hand to lead me back to where he was so he could show me what he’d been doing. And then he wanted to play on our bed (which he loves).

His laughter and smile were the perfect welcome home.

Oops, I did it again.

I’ve had several people ask me if I’m okay after that last post. I am, really. I was just having a super-craptastic day and needed to write something. Maudlin, much?

Of course, there could be a tiny reason why I’m a bit easily pushed down into the depths, thinking the world just might end.

And it may have just a wee, teeny bit to do with hormones.

Lots

and

lots

of

hormones.

Oops, we did it again.

It has been really tough not talking about this. I have been so very sick, averse to a lot of foods and just plain miserable. And happy. But oh how I wanted to share my woes over feeling so sick that I have been taking a nap almost every day at the same time as my son.

Or how utterly exhausted I have been. All. The. Time.

Or how my husband is thinking about banning me from drinking merlot ever again. (But that’s a different story.)

Last week, about Thursday or Friday my belly POPPED. It’s a little hard to hide the news now. And Friday night, I went to Mamafest here in San Diego and ran into a bunch of ladies I knew. During the course of conversations, the news slipped. Oops.

That’s really okay, though. I’d already had my first appointment, seen that tiny little being, and heard a heartbeat. It’s real.

Oh boy. I’m going to be a mom to two littles, exactly 3 years apart. And I do mean exactly as this wee one is due a week after his/her brother’s birthday.

We’re calling this baby 3.0, because the boy was jokingly referred to as 2.0 on our shower cake last time AND this kid will be the third. So there you go.

The holidays are going to be busy this year, y’all. I can’t wait.

The façade

The façade collapsed
as the carefully constructed walls crumbled.
The foundation buckled
as the supports evaporated.

Alone.
Unsure.
Nowhere to go.
Broken.
So very alone.

I changed my mind. This is what I want for Mother’s Day.

Okay, so it wasn’t too many days ago I said I want a gift card for Mother’s Day. But after browsing through my reader I actually saw something else I really, really want.

I haven’t been into creating my own art for too long. Well, not on paper with paint, brushes, glue and messes. Photography, yes. Other art? No. And even though I don’t have a lot of time to work on my art journals these days, it still calls to me. So much so that I’m going to have to make time to get my hands dirty really soon. It speaks to a deep part of me that I didn’t realize needed its own form of expression.

Several months ago, I bought a book called Taking Flight: Inspiration & Techniques to give your Creative spirit wings by Kelly Rae Roberts. Before picking up this book, I was not at all familiar with her art. But it wasn’t her art that drew me in. It was the content of her book. At that time, at that moment when I started reading her book, I needed inspiration and encouragement. I needed to hear how we all find our place (in art) with experimentation. There’s no room for perfection, but there’s plenty of room for play.

I tend to get frustrated with myself because I see the amazing things other incredible art journalers are doing and I really wish I could do that, too. I want to be inspired by them and learn new ways to do things, not to be intimidated into thinking that I’ll never make anything interesting.

And then I remembered that I’m not making any of this for anyone else but me. Would I love to do this and someday have people want to see it and enjoy it? Yes. But not yet.

There is that someday, though. How would I do it if I wanted to get my art out there and maybe even make money with it at some point? How in the world do you get started?

Kelly Rae is giving a class just like that. It’s called Flying Lessons: Tips + Tricks to Help Your Creative Business Soar . And I admit it. I want to take it. Who knows if she’ll even offer it again. There’s something about her tone in her writing that I really enjoy. I think I’d learn a lot from her.

Alas, the $99 price tag is nowhere in our budget right now. So while I’d love for this to be my Mother’s Day gift, it isn’t going to happen. But maybe one of you out there will get a chance to take it and I can live vicariously though you.

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