Archive for » November, 2009 «

20
Nov 2009

Blocked!

By becky

Having trouble tonight, thinking of something to say. I’m a bit preoccupied with things. We have some friends coming into town, only it’s not a happy occasion due to a death in their family. Thanksgiving is rapidly approaching. As is our son’s second birthday. I’m mostly enjoying writing every single day, although I obviously can’t be brilliant every day (hey, I would take being brilliant once every couple of weeks, thank you).

I could do a bunch of freewriting and eventually come up with something, but that would bore you (& probably me) to tears.

I’m frustrated. What’s new? My dad and his brothers were all storytellers. And hysterically funny. Why am I not able to do that, too?

I’m mad at myself for being so dissatisfied with me and what I have. I see other writers succeeding and I am happy for them. But then I turn a critical eye to myself and wonder why I’m not finding opportunities like that. Why I’m not a better writer. Why I don’t have more traffic and can’t build up an audience. I’m so busy beating myself up that I can’t see a way out of it – a way to improve what I’m doing.

I get so jealous of moms who get to stay home without working. Oh, the things I could do with my son if I didn’t have to sit in a chair 5-7 hours a day and work my tail off to barely get by. But I knew this going in. I knew this when I quit my job to work from home. I knew it wouldn’t be easy. I knew we’d have a tight budget. I just wanted to spend the time with my son.

Here’s the thing though. I’m not really sure how quality that time is. And I wonder if he’d be better off in daycare. With other kids to interact with and a structured schedule. And someone besides mommy all day. He has no other kids to play with.

So I either need to buck up and find some better paying work (writing gigs that pay better than the ones I’ve been getting) or suck it up and get a job. Not something I want to be thinking about right now.

Category: babbling, me, me, me  Tags: , , , ,  2 Comments
19
Nov 2009

Therapy

By becky

Please note: Names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Me: [had a problem that required some expertise well above my abilities] i may be calling for backup.

Her: np

Her: happy to help if needed

Me: thanks. i figured i could call the calvary if needed.

Her: note to self: get horse

Me: hahahaha – you just reminded me of a “Bones” episode we saw last night [rerun] that involved role playing w/ men pretending to be horses. it was STRANGE.

Her: the longer i go without watching television, the more it confuses me

Me: dude. they were dressed up in fetish gear pretending to be horses. and the women were “trainers” or something. i’d never seen that episode before.

Her: i didn’t need to know any of that

Me: sometimes, in order to help with healing, you have to share these things.

Her: good save

Category: me, me, me, you might think i'm crazy  Tags: ,  Comments off
18
Nov 2009

I think I’m slowly becoming a foodie

By becky

We’ve been watching Top Chef tonight. I’ve learned a lot about food, cooking, and a variety of techniques by watching it. I’m not sure I could duplicate any of them, but it has definitely showed me what’s out there.

It actually makes me want to learn more, too. I’m more particular about my food. I want good, flavorful food. We don’t have a big budget to eat out a lot, so we’re trying to eat more at home. With our budget, we’re not going to be able to eat at places like The Godfather (one of my favorite restaurants – I usually request that we go there for my birthday, but didn’t this year) all the time.

Face it, when you have an Applebee’s or Island’s budget, you’re not going to get blow-your-mind food. You can occasionally get decent food, but it’s nothing that makes you melt into your seat with the incredible flavors. And I want GOOD food. So we eat at home. Admittedly, I’m not in the mood to cook amazing food every night. But at least here at home we have spices and actually use them.

I’m trying to slowly document my food experiments more. Occasionally, I might like to recreate some of my dishes. But I never write anything down. So I am changing that. And really enjoying the process of playing with my food. I’m not into presentation at all (yet), but more into good, solid, simple food. I have a long way to go. It’s fun to enjoy the process though. (Even if I still don’t enjoy doing the dishes.)

Category: babbling, me, me, me  Tags: , , ,  Comments off
17
Nov 2009

Sickness ohoy!

By becky

Not feeling up to posting much of anything tonight. I’m pretty sure this is only a cold (crossing my fingers). Had a really hard time getting work done today. For some reason, my right eye keeps watering, feeling like it’s irritated. And light sensitive. So I took a nap and plan to go to bed early, too. Hoping to kick this to the curb – it is really sapping my energy. Parenting when you’re the one sick is hard, but the boy has been really good. Glad he’s not feeling as miserable as I do.

Category: babbling  Tags:  4 Comments
16
Nov 2009

Stoopid sinuses

By becky

Since last month, I have been fighting with my sinuses. Every October, my allergies flare up. Which means my sinuses are constantly plugged. And that tends to lead to sinus infections. I’ve been lucky to avoid the major infections so far. But I’m still dealing with a lot of sinus headaches. Stuffiness. And when my allergies really flare up, I am so miserable that it’s hard to concentrate on much of anything.

I’ve decided to break down and get a neti pot. Although, I found a squirt bottle that does the same thing as a neti pot and includes the packets with salt and baking soda in them. I tried it once. I know I need to do it more than that, but I’m having a really hard time getting over the feeling of water in my sinus cavity. It just freaks me out.

I’m working on that. If you have any other tips on how I can reduce inflammation (once they’re irritated, your sinuses tend to inflame easier) and clear things out, I’m all ears. Or nostrils.

Category: babbling  Tags:  2 Comments
15
Nov 2009

Thanks, I needed that

By becky

Had a really fantastic day today.

Slept in just a little. When the boy woke up, I pulled him into bed with me and snuggled for a while. Then, I got him breakfast and tossed a bunch of stuff in the crock pot. I had prepped everything last night, so all I had to do was put the ingredients in and turn it on. Left it on high for a couple of hours, then turned it to low.

Midday we went a wee bit north to see a demo and watch a movie. (Will be providing more details on that shortly, but I need to write about it on my review site.)

By the way, if you haven’t seen A Christmas Carol, I highly recommend it. I wasn’t planning on seeing it, but we went ahead and did so. You know what? It was great. We loved it. The boy behaved very well and we had a terrific time.

On our way home, we took our time and headed to the coast. We live so close and I just don’t take the time to enjoy it. But I did today. It was so nice.

And then, we went to Wally World and grabbed a copy of Up, which we had been looking forward to getting. I can’t remember where I saw it, but I got a coupon online for $10 off the blu-ray combo pack.

Then we came home to open the door and find an amazing smell greet us at the door. Our pork roast was ready. Mmmmm, pork roast. So we sat down to an awesome dinner and our movie. What a great ending to the day.

It’s so nice to have a relaxing weekend. How was yours?

(Disclosure: we saw A Christmas Carol at an event we attended, but I was not asked in any way to write about it. I just enjoyed the movie a lot. I will be telling more about the event soon.)

Category: miscellany  Tags: ,  Comments off
14
Nov 2009

Oz: oldie but goodie

By becky

Tonight as we were flipping channels, we stumbled across The Wizard of Oz right after Dorothy lands in munchkin land. I haven’t watched that movie in a really long time. But we stopped for a little bit and just listened. To the dialogue. The music.

I remember watching this movie when I was a kid. It came on just once a year and it was a BIG DEAL when it came on. And for the longest time, I didn’t understand that it all stemmed from a bump to the head. I well and truly thought that Dorothy went on a crazy adventure in her house.

That’s the magic of childhood, isn’t it?

Remember the first time you saw it and the movie went from black and white to color? Wasn’t that incredible? It didn’t matter if you already had color television. The move to color added such magic to Oz. Color! Interestingness! Adventure!

And then the wicked witch came out. She scared me every time. So did the flying monkeys.

But now? I just look back at what an amazing movie it really is. (And wonder if anyone will ever attempt to big-budget remake it – I kinda hope not.)

It makes me want to see Wicked again, too. This time without the migraine headache.

Was The Wizard of Oz a big part of your childhood? Do you still enjoy watching it?

Category: babbling  Tags: ,  Comments off
13
Nov 2009

Gender stereotypes at the grocery store

By becky

We were at the grocery store, the three of us, picking up a few things. As one does. An older gentleman stops my husband and asks if he can “borrow” me for a moment as he is supposed to pick up something for his wife but can’t find it.

daisies

J looks at me, I said Sure! and off I went. His wife, he said, had sent him to the store for heavy whipping cream. To be sure he was getting the right thing, I asked him what she was making. Whipped cream. Then at least he had the item name correct.

I walked over to the coolers with him and we found the heavy whipping cream. I showed him which carton to get and he thanked me profusely. He didn’t want to get the wrong thing and have to come back again after getting in “trouble” with his wife.

What that man didn’t know is that my husband and I both cook. I’m more of a baker than hubby is, for sure (although I don’t even do what I used to – I need a bigger kitchen), but we both cook. And my husband probably definitely knows his way around the kitchen better than I do.

I didn’t get offended when he asked my husband permission to get my help. Does that make me less of a feminist? I didn’t mind helping because I did actually know where the whipping cream was in the store. And I didn’t get upset when he assumed that I would be the one that bakes or cooks or shops for our family. He was just a man who needed some help.

More than once I’ve been amused at elderly gentlemen who mistakenly put me in a gender stereotype. They’re from a different time and different way of thinking. I don’t think we’ll change them. I just meet them where they are. And make a note to train my son differently.

photo copyright ME

Category: babbling  Tags: , ,  7 Comments
12
Nov 2009

just in case

By becky

I’m falling asleep at my desk. I have a cute story to tell you about a little old man and the grocery store. And I will tell it. But right now I can barely keep my eyes open. This is my stopgap post, in case I don’t make it back to tell my story tonight.

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11
Nov 2009

Pondering on Veteran’s Day

By becky

Today is Veteran’s Day here in the US. My father served in the Army. My grandfather served in the Army AirForce and later the Army. He was a POW in WWII.

There’s a lot I could say about my Dad. He enlisted in the Army and served out his term, just barely missing getting called to fight in Vietnam. If he’d had more time left, he probably would have been sent. I’m not really sure how he didn’t get called up, but I am eternally grateful that he didn’t.

My grandfather fought in World War II. The plane he was in was shot down over the Ploesti oil fields in Romania, where he was captured and held as a Prisoner of War. Somewhere, I have scanned copies of the journal he kept then. And some day, I will go back and read them again. It’s been at least fifteen years – and probably more – since I read what he had to say. Maybe I’ll even type it up some day.

And some day, maybe I’ll tell more of his story, from his own words as he was debriefed. From his own words in his diary. And maybe some from other writings about him. Ploesti was such a small skirmish there’s not a lot to be found out there. I only wish I’d interviewed him and the other POWs I met long ago. I wish I’d gotten their stories down.

Most of them are gone now and it’s too late. What little I do have I will cherish, and pass down to my son who is named for his grandfather.

Veterans, today I thank you. For your service and your sacrifice for our country. I salute you.

Category: miscellany  Tags: ,  Comments off
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