Time Passes

clock faceLast Tuesday, I said goodbye to 35 and hello to 36. I’m not sure how I feel about inching closer to 40. In my 30s I have really felt like I’ve come into my own. Getting more respect professionally. Feeling more settled in myself, who I am, what I like and don’t like.

And then I became a mom smack-dab in the middle of my 30s. And things changed. My world has spun around a bit. I quit working outside of the home and suddenly I’m not sure where my identity lies anymore. It’s not that I identified so heavily with my career, although the ability to bring in a hefty (to me) paycheck was a BIG DEAL to me.

Now I work from home and earn less than half of what I used to. And we’re on a budget. And I’m struggling to manage my time and get everything – or even part of everything – done.

Strangely, I’m less sure of myself at 36 than I was at 34. I’ve had a lot of ups and downs this past year and I can’t say that I’m sad to see 35 go. Where will 36 take me? I’m not sure.

But I certainly hope it includes some more freelance clients and a better paycheck. For my sanity’s sake. Yeah, that’s it. My sanity.

image credit: morgueFile

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2 Responses
  1. jennster (9 comments.) says:

    i think it is so important to feel like you have your own identity outside of your home. so you don’t feel as if you’re “just” a mom or a “just” a wife. kids change everything. suddenly, it’s as if 2 people exist. there is the person you were before you were a mom, and the person you are now. it’s about finding the balance that’s right for you.. internally and spiritually. you need to do what it takes to keep you happy. otherwise, you’re going to do what i wrote about not too long ago and snap- and be like, ENOUGH! no more for everyone else.. i want ME back. :) it’s easy for me to sit here and say that… it’s tough to figure out and do. but you’ll find it. you’ll find what you need to keep you happy and sane.
    .-= jennster´s last blog ..do you see what i see? =-.

    • becky says:

      It’s taken a while, jenn, but I think I’m slowly getting there. I *love* being a mom – my little guy is amazing. But I do miss some of the old me. And hubby is so supportive – he encourages me to get away if I need to. I’m still working on the balance between all of it.