Last Tuesday, I said goodbye to 35 and hello to 36. I’m not sure how I feel about inching closer to 40. In my 30s I have really felt like I’ve come into my own. Getting more respect professionally. Feeling more settled in myself, who I am, what I like and don’t like.
And then I became a mom smack-dab in the middle of my 30s. And things changed. My world has spun around a bit. I quit working outside of the home and suddenly I’m not sure where my identity lies anymore. It’s not that I identified so heavily with my career, although the ability to bring in a hefty (to me) paycheck was a BIG DEAL to me.
Now I work from home and earn less than half of what I used to. And we’re on a budget. And I’m struggling to manage my time and get everything – or even part of everything – done.
Strangely, I’m less sure of myself at 36 than I was at 34. I’ve had a lot of ups and downs this past year and I can’t say that I’m sad to see 35 go. Where will 36 take me? I’m not sure.
But I certainly hope it includes some more freelance clients and a better paycheck. For my sanity’s sake. Yeah, that’s it. My sanity.
image credit: morgueFile