Archive for » August 31st, 2009«

What is the right way?

For the most part, if people have been critical of my parenting, they have been silent about it. And I pretty much thought I didn’t care what other people felt about my choices. We all have to do best for our children, right? And even if I don’t agree completely, I have the sense to keep my mouth shut. Because I don’t know all of the circumstances surrounding their choices. I think I’m now much more likely to give people the benefit of the doubt.

So it took me by complete surprise when I overheard a criticism of how I treat my son. And it cut me to the quick, in part because it came from someone whose opinion I value very much.

So much surprise in fact, that I’m still reeling. I don’t know how to process it. I don’t know how to get past it. It’s still bouncing around in my head, echoing over and over.

The judgment. The hurt. The questioning myself, my parenting. You are not good enough. You’re doing it wrong.

Yet, what is the right way? I don’t think I coddle my son, yet others do. I try my best to let him try new things. Find his own boundaries. I show him how to do things and then have him try it. Mostly, I watch him do it. Let him work out his own frustrations. Sometimes I show him the solution and then let him work it out. Or I just talk him through it. I’m trying to teach him some problem solving. Is it wrong to help him figure things out? Should I just let him scream and cry in frustration?

I don’t know.

And right now, I feel like I know even less than before.

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