Archive for » November 2nd, 2008«

Sleep deprived haze

I’ve been burning the candle at both ends. It’s gotten really bad. So bad, that I have a hard time getting up in the morning, even when the baby wakes up and cries.

I can’t sleep when he sleeps, because I need to get things done. Naps are so erratic right now that I need that time to finish up work. And after he goes to bed, more work. Until 12.30 or 1 am. That’s when I’ve been getting to bed.

Something’s got to give. And it can’t be my health, so I am trying to get on a better schedule where I get everything done earlier. I actually managed to get to bed at 10.30 last night. Of course, I couldn’t sleep even though I was exhausted.

How do you shut your mind off?

It doesn’t help that a couple of days ago I had some really bad nightmares, and in every. single. one. i was looking for the baby. Trying to find him. Or protect him. Or catch a plane, train, or bus. Always frantic. And they always ended badly.

Maybe I’ve been watching a little too much NCIS.

It also doesn’t help that I can’t even get out of the house before 2 or 3 in the afternoon most days. Again, in part because I’m just not getting enough sleep.

It’s such a vicious cycle. I hate it. And in order to try and change it, I’m going to bed. Now. Good night!