I have so much going on in my head right now. It’s hard to make sense of it all myself, much less put it in order for anyone else.
I’m fine, hubby’s fine, baby’s fine. Just busy, and trying to find my way through all of the crap in my head.
We’re waiting to see how much my insurance will be on COBRA. Should find out sometime soon. I am dreading that letter, as I expect it to take everything I’m making right now – and possibly more.
Still trying to find a way to get it all done. It never gets done, but I’d like to get a better handle on things.
Baby is slowly weaning himself. Down to one feeding a day, for a very short time. On one side. Joy. He’s crawling. Standing with support. Even taking steps with support. Chattering every day, although I’m not sure I recognize any particular words as being associated with things.
He’s funny – LOVES to laugh. He thinks it’s hysterical to smack our faces and shoulders. He doesn’t do it hard, so I’m not worried about him hitting us. And he’s ticklish. LOVES bread. He will eat bread until he’s stuffed. But he likes to cram as much as he can into his mouth. Has made for more than one scary moment. I’m not sure how many of these incidents I can take.
And let’s not talk about the fall off of the bed. Mommy guilt, big time. And I wasn’t even in the room. I don’t want to relive it right now. Later this week, maybe. He’s fine. No cuts, scrapes, or broken bones. Just shaken up – all of us. Lots of little things like this have added up over the past week into my nerves being shot.
Oh, and I’m really torn about wanting to have another child. J says no, because of how hard it was on me. I don’t know. It was rough. I love this kid and don’t want to lose any time with him. But I want him to have a sibling close to his age. I want more baby toes to munch, heads to sniff. Yet we don’t have a lot of time. I don’t want to be trying after I’m 40. It’s just not for me.
A lot of conflicting feelings that I haven’t sorted out. I may write a little more on them later to help me work through this a little better.
Any of you with more than one struggle with the decision for a 2nd? Are struggling right now?