The last couple of nights have been a huge bedtime battle. I’ve been trying to keep a more set schedule when it comes to the kid’s naps. Around 11 or 11.30 he goes down for 60-90 minutes. Then again at 3 or 3.30 for about 60 minutes. He’s usually grouchy enough at that point to actually go down with only a little fuss.
But bedtime? Is suddenly an all-out war. And I’m not sure who’s winning.
Of course, it’s not really about winning. The boy has to be able to put himself to sleep. And he was most of the time. He would cry a little, like he does when he’s hungry or wet. It lasts a few minutes and then he’s out.
And now – the last couple of days? Serious crying. The kind where they do that “uh, uh, uh” breathing because they’re crying so hard they can barely catch their breath. He screams so loud and so long I wonder when he’s going to take a breath in. It’s the type of crying that winds him up and makes things worse. We’ve all had those crying fits, right? Where you’re crying so hard you just can’t stop? Yeah, that’s him right now.
It is breaking my heart and I feel like a terrible mommy. I want to cry right along with him, because it really sounds like he’s hurting. Like he needs me. It takes every ounce of will I have not to go in there and scoop him up. Because a 1/2 hour of that would break even the strongest of wills.
And I’m not that strong. I know we have to set the habit now. I don’t want to create a bedtime monster. But God help me, I’m not sure I can get through this with my sanity intact.