Archive for » September, 2008 «

Quote from my wallet: ouch!

People are talking. About things like another Great Depression, the collapse of our economy, and not being able to buy a house right now. And the news from Wall Street didn’t help.

My dad and I were just talking about my retirement account a couple of days ago. About what I should do with it, whether I should borrow from it for a down payment when we’re ready to buy a house. I checked my balance, out of curiosity. It’s a relatively small balance in the scheme of things. But it’ll grow modestly until my retirement and then it’ll hopefully give us a few extra bucks.

I only go in once in a while and reshuffle the funds to get it more balanced. Other than that, I leave it alone. In just a matter of days it dropped $1500. Just like that. And let me tell you, that’s not an insignificant portion of what I have saved. But I will not pull it out and drop it into bonds right now. I will leave it alone and hope that things eventually recover somewhat. I still have the same number of shares in things and I just have to hope that it goes back up at some point.

And yes, all of this crap going on makes me worry even more about quitting my (very stable, reliable, steady income) job. I wonder how I’ll save any additional money towards retirement at this rate. Ugh. I hate thinking about it, but it needs to be done.

Category: babbling  4 Comments

Childhood toys – I need your help!

Okay, I need some help here. I’m trying to locate a toy I used to play with as a child, but I have no idea who made it or what it was called.

I played with this little motorized toy. It was like a zoo, I think. It had a little tour bus that went around the track, and there was a giraffe with a bucket in his mouth that would move people from one place to another. I believe they would go down a slide when it dropped them off.

I was pretty young, so I just remember bits and pieces of it. I would love to find out who made it and what it was called. It seems like it was Fisher-Price like, but it may not have been by them. It did have a bunch of people characters. It may have been more like an amusement park than a zoo.

Ring a bell for anyone?

Category: me, me, me  2 Comments

I am a disappointment

The person I admire most, the one person who can make or break me with just a word, has basically let me know that all of my efforts are for naught. I’m doing everything I can to keep afloat, and it’s not good enough. I’m working my tail off, realizing I can’t be all things to all people, but trying to keep everyone happy. And I’m failing. As a wife, a mother, a writer, a person. Failing.

I want to cry and throw up all at the same time.

Because no matter how hard I’ve been trying to keep it all together, no matter what I do, my efforts are invisible. Useless. Ignored. Everything’s my fault, even though I can’t control others’ reactions to things. Even though I can’t really make or break someone’s happiness, because it’s up to them, the responsibility has been laid at my feet anyway. And I’m failing.

I’ve tried many things, but it’s never enough. It’s never the right thing. I’m spent at the end of the day after trying to get my work done and take care of the kid and even occasionally do a little housework or cook dinner. It’s all too much for me. There are too many things left undone, and not enough of me left over.

I don’t know how to fix it. I’ve always been a fixer, but I just don’t know how to fix me.

Grandparents, prepare thyselves

Tomorrow the boobah and I leave to go see my parents. We’re flying. Again. This kid has been on a plane more times already than I was my first 24 years of life.

But since we’re down to one breastfeeding session a day, that won’t be a big issue. But we will be traveling during naptimes and feeding times, which could get really ugly.

I’m trying to figure out what will work for a decent meal on the plane. And hope that he’ll get to sleep a little before we take off so he won’t be completely crabby while we sit on the runway.

My husband keeps telling me that traveling isn’t that bad. And it’s not, yet it is. It stresses me out. Always has. Add to that my worries about keeping the kid safe, fed, and mostly happy, and I’m stressed to the max. I hate traveling solo with the kid. I do.

Yet I do it anyway, because how else are his grandparents going to get to see him? more…

Ahoy, matey!

Shiver me timbers! Of course I couldn’t let a day like this pass me by. What day, you say?

Aaarrrrr, that would be International Talk Like a Pirate Day. What else, ya landlubbers? It gives me a bit of a chance to throw out me favorite joke of all time. Avast me hearties, and listen well.

A pirate walks into a bar with a boat wheel sticking out of his pants. The landlubbin’ bartender looks at him for a moment, then asks, “What’s with the boat wheel?”


Category: Uncategorized  Tags: , ,  Comments off

Cry it out – who wins?

The last couple of nights have been a huge bedtime battle. I’ve been trying to keep a more set schedule when it comes to the kid’s naps. Around 11 or 11.30 he goes down for 60-90 minutes. Then again at 3 or 3.30 for about 60 minutes. He’s usually grouchy enough at that point to actually go down with only a little fuss.

But bedtime? Is suddenly an all-out war. And I’m not sure who’s winning.

Of course, it’s not really about winning. The boy has to be able to put himself to sleep. And he was most of the time. He would cry a little, like he does when he’s hungry or wet. It lasts a few minutes and then he’s out.

And now – the last couple of days? Serious crying. more…

Category: spawn  Tags: , ,  7 Comments

Making adjustments

Ah, summerI am officially a work-at-home mom. And that still seems weird to say. When people heard I would be leaving my job, they said, “That’s so cool that you can stay home with him!” Yes, but at a price. We can’t afford for me to just stay home. No way that is feasible. So I’m cobbling together clients and projects and things here-and-there in hopes it will keep us afloat.

It’s a big adjustment. I went from doing most of my work in the afternoons to needing them done in the morning. And I don’t think I’m managing it very well. Our routine has normally included the kid and I lying in bed for a while after he wakes up and eats, snoozing, playing, and being a bit quiet. I always had about an hour’s worth of work to do, which was no big deal. I did it while he went back to sleep.

After he wakes up, we go into the living room where he plays in his high chair while I fix some breakfast. And then I try to scarf down my food in between feeding him. That routine usually takes us as late as 10.30 or 11. Then I would work from 1.30 – 4.30, and again after he went to bed. more…

Holy teething, batman!

My son’s 4th and 5th teeth are coming in, aka his top two teeth. And breastfeeding has become a whole new adventure in pain. He’s learning to eat solid foods, to chew things up properly. Mommy has to keep reminding him that her nipples are not to be gnawed on. Can I just say, “Ouch!”

He’s really starting to enjoy new foods. Yesterday he tried a few pieces of cooked mushrooms and loved them. And he will eat as many mashed potatoes as you can give him. He seems love eating anything that we’re eating. He stares at my toast and eggs each morning until I give him some of my toast. And he’s feeding himself cheerios, although only about half of them make it to his mouth. more…

Category: parenting, spawn  Tags: , , ,  5 Comments