I got an unexpected phone call from a friend recently. It was a delightful surprise to see her name pop up on my phone. There are certain people in your life that you never really expect to be friends with. And some small circumstance throws you together, something of chance, and you find an amazing person there waiting for you.
Seeing this person’s name never fails to cheer me. I always look forward to talking to her, and I have a feeling we could talk about writing, books, movies, and all sorts of things for days on end. She is wise, warm and a true treasure to my heart.
I have been so lucky to find some pretty amazing girlfriends in my life. Women who are genuinely caring, uplifting and supportive. Friends who put a smile on my face when I just think about them. I can think of several of them right now and I feel incredibly lucky that I can name more than one or two. I am so fortunate that these women have crossed my path and somehow stumbled into my life and stayed there. They encourage me when I need it. Prop me up when I fall. And wipe my tears when I think I just can’t go on.
I don’t tell my girlfriends often enough how much they truly mean to me. But by gosh, I aim to do it now.
I’ve been quiet this week, thinking about the end of one era, beginning of another. I look forward to having less structured days, where I don’t have to be a certain place at a certain time. When I can have a schedule for the kid, but flexibility when we want to go to the pool, the park, the beach. I won’t have to be back at 1.30 every afternoon, or get up and work for an hour at 7 a.m.
And I try not to think too hard about what we’ll do about insurance, since the company I contacted hasn’t called me back. Hoping that will get resolved next week.
Today we took the kid to the yearly staff picnic. It was pretty cool. Hot weather, but we found some great shade, plopped down a couple of blankets, and let the kid sit and play. Gave him a bit of watermelon rind with just enough red left on it to be interesting. He loved it. I didn’t realize how great a teething helper it would be. He must have drooled a gallon down the front of his shirt, but man, was he happy.
And I captured some of it on ‘film’. Hoping to get the pics from daddy, since it was his camera. And I will most certainly share when I can because they are way too precious for words. What’s cuter than a kid on a blanket? Nothing, I tell you. Absolutely nothing. And if you don’t think so, then I say you have a cold, black, dead heart and I no longer want to know you.
I really need to catch up this weekend. On everything, really. Will it get easier or harder after these two weeks are up? I’m really not sure yet.
But taking those pics today reminded me of how much I miss getting out with my camera. I’m going to have to take the kid to the beach and get some shots of him. I think it’s in my contract somewhere. (If thou livest within driving distance of the beach, thou must take thy child and get cute baby shots. It’s required.) I guess I’d better get on that.
The first time I saw that faint fluttering on the screen, my heart left my chest and settled in my uterus. It stayed there a whole nine months before it made its way outside my body. And now I see it, here, in front of me.
I watch your precious face as you sleep and I realize why parents say your children are your heart walking around outside of your body. I understand it now. I thought I did before. I “knew” what it meant to love a child, my future child. That is, until they placed you on my chest. And then, I really knew.
My heart is so much bigger than I ever thought it could be. It wraps around you, your sister, your father. The further away any of you are, the further it stretches. I understand 1 Corinthians, where it says “love is patient, love is kind.” I get it. You made me realize all of these things, and so much more.
You gave me a gift that I couldn’t fathom until now. I knew I always wanted you, and while I couldn’t imagine my life with you before, I now can’t consider it without you.
I love you, little one. Always.
I don’t know where the week went. We’ve had a VERY cranky baby and now I know why. Not only is that 3rd tooth continuing to move into place, but TWO more are about to break through on the top. I can feel them. No wonder he’s ticked off most of the time. I would be, too.
We made it through a whole week of crib sleeping. He fights going to sleep pretty much every night. But once he settles down he’s out. We had a couple of rough nights where he woke up at 2.30 or 3.00 and refused to go back to sleep. But this morning we’re back to 4.30 again. Much better. Not perfect, but better.
After he eats I can usually wait until about 8.00 or even 9.00 before he’s really ready to get up.
I’ve been struggling with trying to set some sort of schedule with him. For his sake, and for mine. I’m still not getting anything done. Not nearly the amount I’d like to. Shouldn’t I have this figured out by now? Shouldn’t I be able to find pockets of time to get things done? Why aren’t I?
Maybe it’ll be better once the job ends. I can use those hours to get my business stuff done, and the other time can be spent with the family, and getting household stuff done.
I wish someone could tell me how they do it all. How do you get your work done with this little human needs so much of you?
I never gave the whole sleeping thing with the baby a lot of thought. I didn’t want to get up in the middle of the night for feedings, and I didn’t feel comfortable with him in another room, so he slept with us. It started in the hospital. I had him on a boppy pillow in the bed with me and more than once fell asleep holding him. It seemed right at the time. And at home, we were so tired I’d frequently fall asleep holding him after he nursed. He slept better on my chest, so I just let him do it. It morphed into him sleeping in our bed.
And he’s been there every night since.
Oh, I tried to put him in the crib, but he’d continually wake up and I’d have to comfort him. He woke up every time I put him back in the crib. So I gave up and just let him sleep next to me. And it got to where I enjoyed snuggling with him. I could keep tabs on him, make sure everything was okay. And during frequent feedings it was much easier to grab him from next to me rather than getting up. more…