Well, where do I begin? I went in for my monthly appointment today. New doctor – not sure what I think about her. She was a little too brusque and dismissive for my taste, even though the receptionist said I’d love her. I believe I’d like my money back now. My first impression was so strong that I just may go in Monday and change all of my appointments with her. She dropped a bomb on me, didn’t explain anything to me even when I started crying, and pushed me out the door. I’d rather go to the midwife than go to her. I also got poked for my TB test, after getting poked four times yesterday. Can you tell this isn’t a good day for me?
I have gestational diabetes. Every time I type or say that I start to cry. I’ve been reading up on it at the American Diabetes Association and the Mayo Clinic. And I’m absolutely terrified. The doctor didn’t tell me anything, she just gave me a number to call. Fat lot of good that does me on a Friday afternoon at 4pm. I know it’s not the end of the world, and hopefully it can be controlled with diet and exercise. But I can’t help but wonder if the way I’ve been eating has contributed or if I was just predisposed (both of my grandparents had Type II diabetes).
So I worry that I’ve put our son’s health at risk. And the part that makes me feel even more guilty? The part that terrifies me even more than that is the fact that I’m more likely to get Type II later in life. Yes, that scares me more than the current health risk to me and my son. I’ve seen what it does to people. I watched all of the complications my grandmother had before she died and I do not want to go through that.
And now I have to wait all weekend before talking to someone and figuring all of this out. F’in doctors – I wonder if she’s ever been pregnant before. All of the other docs in women’s health have been kind and gentle. Not this one. While she may know her stuff, has she actually been there? Somehow I doubt that. If she had, she would have talked to me a bit more and tried to reassure me instead of leaving me to stew all weekend, not knowing what to do but wait.
Let me tell you. Waiting to find out more about something so serious? Sucks.
gdm
gestational diabetes
pregnancy
