I do plan to get back to regularly scheduled things… eventually. Truly I do. Right now I am just so busy basking in not doing anything it’s hard to be motivated. And if you saw the piles of mail on my desk that statement would be even more painfully clear. After years and years of reading what everyone else told me to, I’m enjoying just reading for fun. In fact, I just used my bookstore gift cards this weekend and hit the “buy 3 for the price of 2” sale. It gives me the chance to try a book that I normally might not.
I’m currently reading Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott. I love it. Anne has such a funny, irreverant voice. She writes how I think, only funnier. I first discovered her when I read her writing memoir, Bird by Bird. I haven’t read all of her novels, but I will check out a few more at some point.
So, the reading is all I’m really accomplishing right now. Since I do need to pay bills and keep a roof over our head, I will eventually have to do something about that pile on my desk. But since so many of our bills are already on auto pay, I think I have another day or two.
On the pregnancy front, my bellah is growing a little. I joke that I currently look like I just ate too much dessert. But it’s getting noticeable, depending on what I wear. Eating is a weird thing right now. You know how you eat too much, and you try to breathe really deep, and you can’t? Or, when you’re not full you take a gigantic breath and your lungs and stomach all expand way out and then contract when you breathe out again? Well, I feel like I breathed in and my stomach expanded. But it doesn’t contract when I breathe out again. Every few days I take that deep breath and then my stomach stays put. How much further can I really stretch this thing before it jumps up into my lungs? Oh, a lot. I have a looooonnnnngggg way to go. But I already have to lean over a bit to see my legs. Oh, this is going to be fun to watch, isn’t it?
Tonight, I’m lying here just after I had a small glass of juice. And I feel a little flutter. And another. I turn to my husband and say, “Honey, I just felt a flutter and I don’t think it was gas this time!” I could be wrong, but I’m going to pretend otherwise, okay? Humor me. I have an appointment on Friday and I’m hoping they’ll pull out the Dopplar so I can hear the heartbeat.
Things are okay, although I still haven’t really announced anything at work. I’ll tell my group at our meeting next Monday. But otherwise, I think I’ll just let people figure it out. I guess I’m still hoping that not telling everyone in creation will have some warding off capabilities. So yes, that’s silly. Yet it’s still the way I feel about it at this point. I know I can’t control what happens. Maybe it’ll get easier. Maybe not. I’ll just have to wait and see. And really, isn’t that part of what life is made up of anyway?
