Archive for » March, 2007 «

how to boobytrap your wife part deux

1) offer to take your wife to work

2) after dropping her off, go by the coffee shop

3) buy two mochas

4) order both nonfat, no whip

5) one is decaf, one isn’t

6) drop off the one they said was decaf

7) forget your glasses at home, so you can’t read the label yourself

8) drink your mocha, and wonder why you aren’t getting your normal caffeine buzz

9) realize you gave your wife the leaded mocha

10) and she’s the one trying to cut out caffeine

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how to boobytrap your wife

1) find your dad’s old bow that is at least 35 years old

2) get the bow restrung

3) take your wife shooting at the range

4) teach her how to shoot a long bow

5) shoot about 20 arrows on your dad’s bow

6) hand it to your wife

7) tell her to pull on it, but not all the way

8) CRACK!!!!

9) make your wife feel guilty because she cracked your father’s antique bow

10) then ask her to let you buy a new one, which you really wanted in the first place

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woah baby

things are going to change around here. woah.

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where is she?

Ok, Calgon, you bitch. Where are you today? And why did you let yesterday’s suck spill into today? I hate you.

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Me and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Yeah, so… I don’t want to repeat today. I’m this close to pulling a johnny paycheck. I swear if things don’t turn around soon, I’ll… I’ll… dammit, I’ll probably whine about it some more.

People suck. Especially young people with no manners or social skills (not all young ones, just those in particular) who choose to be nasty anonymously. They really suck.

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