world’s biggest dork

okay. i’m the world’s biggest dork. no, really.

i went to use the ladies room. and, uh, i couldn’t um, pull down my pants. (i guess there’s just no delicate way to put that, huh?)

at first, i thought that my cell phone, clipped on my waist, had caught my shirt and was hanging me up. nope. so i yank. uh huh, another good choice.

my pants are a size too big. i haven’t had the time, or inclination, to go get them altered (because if i do, i will automatically gain back all the weight. see how that works?). so i safety pin them. yeah, now you know why i’m a dork.

i managed to safety-pin my pants to my shirt. my silk shirt. in addition to the pin holes it did have, it now has a couple of nice little rips where i YANKED MY PANTS BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS MY PHONE’S FAULT.

uh huh. this is gonna be a great day.

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