Archive for » February, 2005 «

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i need to keep track of this eye thing. really bothered me last night and this morning. my left eye keeps blurring out every so often. just slightly – enough to make you blink a bit, thinking it will go away, like you just had it go out of focus for a brief second. i’ve always had that. problem is, it’s not going away. last night at costco, there was fuzziness around the lights, like a halo or aura. with or without glasses. it was hurting a bit too. today, it’s just irritated. sensitive to light. like i got something in there and scratched it and now it’s all dry and wanting to water, but it doesn’t really. it just tries to shut a lot. and ache somewhat. like it did before, only slightly milder. i wake up in the middle of the night all the time and my eye feels dry – like my eyelid is sticking to my eye. and then it gets irritated and starts hurting. i drink a ton of water. all day long. and even when i wake up at night. is it the medicine i’m on? but this started before then, i’m pretty sure.
the words of that eye doctor, the one that freaked me out? coming back to haunt me. age group. beginning signs. MS. what if he was right? fucking freaks me out. what if i lose vision in that eye? when it goes blurry, even glasses don’t correct it. MS terrifies me. a friend’s mom went thru that and i know someone now that has it. i see her every day. why does this keep coming back? why is it bothering me so much? eyes are supposed to heal themselves faster than most parts of the body. so what’s going on? eye dr or primary care dr? which one can tell me what’s going on?
eta: let me also say that there’s pressure in the eye, like something’s pushing on it. and when it does finally tear up, it burns quite a bit. and then it’ll lessen and come back again. but the pressure and some of the pain is constant. it’s not going away for a 2nd day. but the blurry vision, and pain? something’s not. right.

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in passing

i’m sitting here with tears running down my face, reading the comments about a blogger that passed away suddenly. i didn’t even know him, but the expressions of sadness are just so heartfelt that you can’t help but be touched.
he must have been an amazing person to touch so many people in such a profound way. it makes me want to be a better friend to those i love.

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wtf?

how the HELL did “holly jolly christmas” get stuck in my head?

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oy! ster

listening to the radio this morning. local crew – dave, shelley & chainsaw (dsc). they were talking about people that eat oysters. dave said those people have a need to be “foodly superior.” shelley said she’s loved them since college.
mmmm, oysters.
i guess that makes me “culinarily condescending,” too. gotta get me some. thanks a lot guys – now i’ll be thinking about them all day.

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a talk w/ dad

my dad called tonight.
“hi dad. i’ve been a bad daughter for not calling, huh?”
“you’re the worst daughter we have. you’re also the best daughter we have.”
“i guess that makes me your schizophrenic daughter.”
i haven’t called in almost a month. not intentionally – time just gets away from me. i’m a night owl & i always think to call when it’s too late for them. and they never know when it’s a good time to call me, afraid of interrupting/ bothering me. i’ve told them that anytime is fine – i’ll let them know if i can’t talk. but unless my hair’s on fire or we’re in the midst of hot monkey-love, i will make time to talk to my parents when they call. because they’re worth talking to. but i guess you wouldn’t know that by how often i call, now, would you?

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more invites

holy cow, i just got a shitload of gmail invites. anyone out there still need one?

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move faster

you know, a presidential speech would go quicker if everyone would shut the hell up & just let him talk, instead of clapping every 2 seconds.

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