Archive for » February, 2004 «

ahhhh

What a fantabulous day. Gorgeous weather, amazing friends, and lots of fun.
We are truly blessed.

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random wedding thoughts

As I stood in a dressing room, surrounded by a dozen gowns, my head and arms halfway out of a tight-fitting number, I realized that our wedding was poised on a precipice that would separate a simple affair from a major production. I had tried on a dress that made me feel like a princess, like someone exceptionally special. I wanted it badly. But if I were to wear a fancy gown, it would change the tone of our celebration. And our budget. After a well-placed question by my friend, I reminded myself that I don�t need to fall for the wedding hype. So, I stepped back for a moment and chose another dress that I could use at a later date. And after living with that choice for a few days, I know I did the right thing. The dress I chose is a beautiful color and completely non-traditional � it fits us and what we want in a ceremony. J and I had previous marriages, complete with the big church weddings. Neither of us wants the headache or wasted expense again. We have plenty of friends that could throw much more lavish productions than we can. We want the focus to be us – our relationship – not keeping up with the Joneses. Maybe I was worried about others� perception of our ceremony and reception. But I know whatever we do will be heartfelt and meaningful for the two of us. Even if no one else gets it, it will be special to us. That has to come first and foremost. For a long time, I resisted getting married again. I thought living together would be enough. And it has been, until now. What changed? I finally realized that this is real, that this relationship is the one I want for the rest of my life. This man is a good man. He�s everything I want and I just wasn�t ready to see it. I didn�t trust my judgment. And now I finally do. We�ve always acted like a family, operated like a family, and even felt like a family. But we didn�t have a marriage certificate. Even though our relationship is long-term in our eyes, the outside perception was different. There�s a difference between being introduced as a girlfriend as opposed to fianc�e or wife. Why is marriage so important? Why is our society built around it? By getting married, are we succumbing to societal pressure? In my eyes, it�s only in the fact that we need to be married for J and munchkin to get my insurance coverage. We�re doing it because we want to. I want to introduce him as my husband and be known as his wife. We want the permanency, the bond, and the benefits that come from marriage. Do I care what people think about our ceremony and reception? Yes, a little bit. But I also can�t let that influence what we feel is right for us. Simplicity is right for us. Having those that we love around is right for us. Letting everyone see how happy we are together is right for us. That�s what really matters, isn�t it?

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just breathe

More of the craziness that is my life. I left the office last night, hoping that my car would do what it does 98% of the time: start. I wasn�t that lucky. I called John to let him know, but he didn�t answer his phone. Shit. I then tried Sue, warning her that I might need a ride. Again. She wouldn�t be able to get to me for a good hour or two, so I had to consider my options. Aha! I headed towards the city shuttle that would get me within a mile or so of our place. As I walked to the stop, J called. I let him know the sitch. I caught him just before he was headed further from home. He caught a ride to the gas station (where he works) and grabbed some tools. In the meantime, the shuttle deposited me at the mall. Figuring a bus wouldn�t be going for at least a 1/2 hour, I started walking. While I wouldn�t normally choose to walk mostly uphill for a mile in 3 1/2� heeled boots, I didn�t have much choice due to our packed schedule that night. I got home finally and changed clothes. While I was contacting Sue for a ride to pick up the car, the pub (J�s 2nd job) called. The night�s cook called in sick and they wondered if he could help out. The owner is a very close friend of J�s and has done many things for us (including arranging all of the food for the reception). And since I had planned to go to the pub to sample food for the Sunday shindig, saying no was not an option. �As soon as I can� was the more accurate response. When Sue was ready, we went to my office to try starting the car again. But not before letting the dogs take a pit stop. *sigh* That�s been my week. While Sue and her son sat in the car, apparently starving, J tried to get the car running. She decided to make a food run and we told her to go ahead. If we thought we couldn�t get going, we�d call her back. We finally got the car going, but haven�t pinpointed the problem. Intermittent problems are a bitch. We did get to the pub so J could work and I could do the tasting. They were short-handed, so I washed dishes to keep them from getting too far behind. As it is, we got home after 11 p.m. I am a bit tired today. On top of all of this, my old dept is trying to get me to come back. I liked it there, but now I like it where I am, too. Is more money worth cutting ties in the new dept? We’re just starting a big – highly visible – project. My job could become just about anything; but with the budget issues, who knows when I’ll get more money? I don’t know what I should do right now. I don’t have to even make a decision yet, but I’d like to get a handle on my feelings about it and what the right thing to do is.

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hump day, indeed

so yesterday morning I was supposed to drop J off for his class. we stopped and had breakfast and then the car wouldn’t start. not getting fuel. ugh.
he was close enough to class to be okay. but i had to call sue and have her pick me up. she did (i love her) and i made it to work an hour late.
i had to rely on another friend to take me home (i love her, too).
did i mention that i was in consecutive meetings from 10:30 – 4:30 yesterday? and since i’m normally out by 3:30, my phone started ringing off the hook just after that. *sigh*
i got back to my office after the last meeting and one of my coworkers looked at me and asked, “did you just get out of a meeting?”
“yes, i did,” i nodded slightly.
she smiled, “i thought so. you have meeting eyes.”
i guess i looked as worn out as i felt. if this week gets any more stressful, i may spontaneously combust.

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i will not go quietly

i will not let stress take over.
j’s suit will be done thursday but we’re having a hell of a time finding shoes.
it’s been raining – a lot.
parking sucks.
work issues in regard to a site i’m testing that isn’t complete enough for me to okay the launch.
j will have to shave his goatee 4 days before the wedding due to safety training requirements.
major munchkin issues re: school & extra curricular stuff – i can’t say more, but it’s probably the highest on the list.
my ibs is kicking in.
*sigh*

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a day in the life-leap day

It’s time for another photo project. A day in the life – leap day from sh1ft.org.
Since that’s our wedding day, it’s the perfect time for me to participate. That, and I flaked on the 26 things in November. Redemption time. Hee!

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mad world

I just got back from a couple of errands. It has quit raining for a bit and all is peaceful and renewed.
It certainly contradicts my morning. I’m in a parking lot & there’s a great big puddle. The narrow end is on my side, so I easily go around. Except there’s an SUV in the middle of the driveway – a WIDE driveway. Does he move? No. He sits and waits, and then goes around the puddle on my side (the wrong side). You have a freaking SUV, you moron. You can go THROUGH the puddle! It’s maybe 8 inches deep at the most. It doesn’t even come up to your rims! Drive through it! Sheesh.
Then, I go get gas at the cheapest place I can find. I have an 84 Camry and it still took TWENTY dollars to fill it up. I go inside for a whole quarter in change and when I come back out the guy in front of me at the pump is SMOKING in his truck. Smoking. In his truck. At a FUCKING GAS STATION! I was incredulous. I should’ve marched my happy ass up to his window and ripped him a new one. He had his window down and was tossing ashes onto the ground. Am I the only one who sees a problem with this picture?! Instead I hopped in my car & got the hell out of there before he blew us all to kingdom come. By George, that idiot isn’t going to ruin MY wedding. *grin*
When did parents stop teaching their kids common sense? When did the general public become so stupid? I run into more stupid people than I do intelligent ones. Unfortuately, the smart ones are the ones that know better than to mass produce their progeny. *sigh* I think I need to go live in a very remote place for a while. Anyone else want a nice helping of misanthropy?

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should i be surprised? nope

The kindness of others continues to amaze me. My office had a bridal shower for us yesterday. We received some items from each of our registries – Bed, Bath & Beyond and Williams-Sonoma. We even received a gift certificate for Williams-Sonoma and for a local restaurant group so we can go out to eat.
I am so touched by their generosity.
Plenty of friends have offered their help with the wedding planning. What wonderful people we have around us. I am humbled by the love we have seen. Thank you.
Now, if we can just keep the rain away next Sunday … wink

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the old man is snoring

it’s raining quite steadily. i never even got fast enough for overdrive on the way home.
it’s a warm soup, movie, and snuggle on the couch night.

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back to business

I just got back from Whole Foods. I love that place. They have the freshest food. Yes, I probably spend a bit more, but I can be sure I am buying things that are healthy. I think my family deserves that. I’m so tired of seeing lists of ingredients a mile long, with hormones up the wazoo (that’s the technical term). So I’m trying to plan meals and buy groceries weekly. Since we rarely eat frozen food, I have to adjust my buying habits. If you can’t remember to thaw it, what good does it do?
I just broiled some pork chops, steamed some broccoli, and whipped up some 5 minute stuffing. See? Having food in the house keeps me from eating out.
I went to Palm Springs over the weekend. We had a fabulous time! We stopped that the factory outlet stores in Cabazon on the way. Due to the holiday, there were some fabulous sales. I found my wedding shoes, and some others. wink
That evening, we ate at The Deck. While the food was fair, I think it was overrated when you factor in price. We found this great little pub, called Flaherty’s (a local recommended it). Great music, pool tables, and enjoyable atmosphere. I’d go again. I can’t say any more about the trip, though. What happens on the road, stays on the road. :D
The wedding approaches. Eek! I’ll try not to get too nervous, but it IS creeping up. We still have a lot to do. I’m looking forward to it, though. I never thought I’d get married again. We’ve been through a lot together and finally came to a place where we’re both ready. It’s amazing and wonderful and exciting.

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