Archive for » August, 2003 «

thought for the day

Money does not equal class.

That is all.

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decisions, decisions

Woah – now I really have some major decisions to make. Job related. When it rains, it pours!

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of tomatoes & such

Dayum, ya’ll. How’m I s’posed to ketchup w/yor lives when ya done gone & posted s’much?! Got a lot to update ya’ll on. Ahll see whut I kin do by the end uf th’ week’nd. Uh, could you handle a whole post in southern-speak? Maybe if you read it aloud. Yes, I know proper English and how to speak well. Does that mean I don’t slip into my accent and the Local Lingo when I go back home? Nope – it happens every time. I just switch back when I return to work. Compartmentalization is easy. Say it with me now. And slow down with the posting until I catch back up. Then you may proceed with your hourly updates – so I don’t get bored, of course.

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Bring me to life

I’m late, but I’m posting it anyway – because I can, dammit. And I have a lot of catching up to do. But we made it back. Alive. Barely.
This has been haunting me this week. Reason to maybe be explored later. I have a lot to think about and figure out. Here’s my SMLSOTW:

“Bring Me To Life” – Evanescence
(feat. Paul McCoy)

How can you see into my eyes like open doors?
Leading you down into my core where I’ve become so numb
Without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home

Wake me up
(Wake me up inside)
I can’t wake up
(Wake me up inside)
Save me
(Call my name and save me from the dark)

Wake me up
(Bid my blood to run)
I can’t wake up
(Before I come undone)
Save me
(Save me from the nothing I’ve become)

Now that I know what I’m without
You can’t just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life

Wake me up
(Wake me up inside)
I can’t wake up
(Wake me up inside)
Save me
(Call my name and save me from the dark)

Wake me up
(Bid my blood to run)
I can’t wake up
(Before I come undone)
Save me
(Save me from the nothing I’ve become)

I’ve been living a lie
There’s nothing inside
Bring me to life

Frozen inside without your touch
Without your love, darling
Only you are the life among the dead

All this time, I can’t believe I couldn’t see
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I’ve been sleeping a thousand years it seems
Got to open my eyes to everything

Without thought, without voice, without a soul
Don’t let me die here
There must be something more
Bring me to life

Wake me up
(Wake me up inside)
I can’t wake up
(Wake me up inside)
Save me
(Call my name and save me from the dark)

Wake me up
(Bid my blood to run)
I can’t wake up
(Before I come undone)
Save me
(Save me from the nothing I’ve become)

I’ve been living a lie
There’s nothing inside
Bring me to life

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It’s alive!

Hey y’all! We made it safely to Missouri. Dad is in rare form, as always. Have some great tales to tell about that – he’s quite the character. And an excellent storyteller. I think I’ll have some time tomorrow to do some updating and let you know what we’ve been up to.

Of course, the day before we got here the temps changed from pleasant to HOT. Happens every year around the Broiler Festival. I’m beginning to think that it isn’t named for the BBQ chicken, but the weather instead.

Got the munchkin’s school clothes. Blew the budget at one store! But thank goodness for back-to-school sales.

Anyway, enough blathering for now. Hope you all are well!

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Sweating bullets

Dayum, it is humid outside today.

Eh, guess it’ll make the transition to midwestern weather easier.

Hey, I get out of here in an hour. Then I need to pack. We fly out eeeeeaaarly tomorrow morning (how’s a 6:30am flight hit ya?).

It’s vacation time, y0. Until the 27th.

Posting will be lite, but fair and balanced. Don’t forget me when I’m gone. Cuz, my heart would break, donchaknow.

VACATION HERE I COME.

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Family Guy, the movie?

Now I haven’t seen enough episodes of Family Guy. But I loved what I did see. Would I buy the movie (scroll all the way down)? You betcha.
(via wholelottanothing)

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Small town living

I grew up just outside a town that holds 430 people. No that’s not a typo. My graduating class had around 29 students. I always wanted to travel and see more of the world than just Podunk, Missouri. I still have a ways to go, though, in my travels. I would like to say I’ve been to more foreign countries than just Mexico.
When I go back “home,” some of the people there look at me in awe. They can’t believe someone not only made it out of that town, but managed to live and survive in “Cali-fornya.” They talk about it like it’s another galaxy.

When I’m back there, I feel like it’s another world, too. Sometimes I long for it. And other times I can’t believe that’s where I came from. I look at some of my cousins and realize they probably fulfill a lot of the “hillbilly” stereotypes. No matter, as they are some of the nicest, most loyal, caring people you’ll ever meet. They’d help family, friends, and strangers with no thought of being inconvenienced.

My parents traveled when we were kids. It was just to see our grandparents, but it was more than 90% of the local population did. I think that helped me break out of that mold.

I feel pretty damn cultured and sophisticated when I’m in Podunk. But I certainly don’t feel that way here. Funny how that works, idn’t it?

I have conflicting emotions when it comes to “home.” But I wouldn’t trade my upbringing or my family for the world. And I’m looking forward to seeing them again, even if it’s only for a week and a half.

Wait until you hear the accent, though. Heh.

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And I’m okay with that

I just went through my yearly review. It went well. No money out of it, obviously, but things look good for my future, in spite of one person that I’ve just never been able to communicate with well. But that’s a story for when I’m certain I won’t have to be this person’s assistant ever again.

Anyway, I’m high up on the radar right now – in a good way. Things will be opening up around here if I can just hang on.

So, if I don’t get offered the new job, or they don’t offer enough money, I’m okay with that. I really like my job. A lot. Now I just need to work on my productivity. Oh, it’s good enough for them, but not me.

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Crash & burn

After feeling so stressed yesterday, I feel like just crashing today. If I didn’t have my annual review this afternoon, I would’ve considered using a sick day & just staying in bed all day. While I’m not impervious to stress, I usually don’t let it affect me outwardly. Physically. I think I need to go for a run tonight or tomorrow.

I’m stressing over way too many things recently. Especially the question: “What do I really want from my life / where am I going?”

Is it just me? Is it because I’m turning 30? Or because I’m trying to do too many things / make too many changes at once?

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